Fly the friendly skies

Despite uncomfortable seats, annoying people, crowded airports, security hassles, lost luggage and terrible customer service, air travel is something I look forward to these days. For a few glorious hours every couple of weeks, I am in a place where not a single person can get a hold of me.

There is something inherently wrong in the world when the boundaries between professional and personal time are so blurred that booking a flight is the only means of escape, but I will take what I can get. Life in our super-connected always on-call world is not likely to change unless we all change our attitudes. Without a complete shift in the work/life ethic in the United States, the airplane might remain our last oasis from the office. This refuge is threatened as the FAA and airlines deliberate on whether to allow cell phone usage in flight. While experts are citing the safety concerns of cell phones usage, I argue there is more than issues on safety that should keep airplanes phone free. With airplanes as the last safe haven on earth from cell phone overload, airlines are performing a public service of sorts, giving individuals the opportunity to shut off rather than fielding incoming questions, participating in conference calls or listening to a seatmate talk about their latest crisis.

Disconnecting from the phone in flight is also important for connecting with people outside the usual comfort zone. Somehow the smaller the globe becomes, the less people interact with each other. We are more likely to chat with a person across the world on the internet than actually reach out and touch someone right next to you. Air travel offers a unique opportunity to meet a cross section of humanity outside your everyday circle and network with new people. This practice would be threatened if everyone was engaged in conversations with those on the ground.

Flying one million or so miles has allowed me to meet some of the most fascinating people; philanthropists, artists, novelists, engineers, politicians, musicians, motivational speakers, pilots, preachers, patients, doctors, soldiers, actors, executives and students to name a few. Although the “relationships” were solely based on sharing a row and feigning boredom, each one of these people opened up a world previously unknown, engaged in thoughtful conversation and made the time fly by. It is easy to go everyday and surround yourself with only people who share your opinions, understand your career, know your friends and accept your beliefs, unless you are on an airplane. No other place forces you to turn-off your normal world and potentially open a new one quite like a commercial flight.

A cut above the rest

A good man, car mechanic and hair dresser are hard to find. Lately, I am fearful of losing my man, because my car mechanic and hair dresser went MIA. It all starts with an innocent phone call to schedule an oil change, and suddenly the call is routed to a receptionist who alerts you to the disappearance. Questions of why and where are not answered as you are being reassured that all the mechanics at the shop are experts and trained to meet my needs. The personal relationship developed with the mechanic does not matter; they just want to keep your business.
The same scenario occurred a few weeks later with my hair dresser. This call knocked the wind out of me as we recently entered a new stage of our relationship; transitioning from long to short hair. This huge step means more time developing our bond through frequent haircuts, moving into a long term relationship. Her departure from the salon was especially hard as I had broken up with my long time hairdresser just a year ago. It wasn’t her, it was me; I had moved 1200 miles away 6 years prior and could not afford to fly back home every time I needed a trim. She understood the reasons for the breakup and personally recommended a woman in my “new” hometown, Paula.

At one point, I believed all hairdressers were created equally until college, when friends and acquaintances started visiting Kerri one by one, until nearly everyone in our extended circle visited her for their haircuts. She performed magic on each person, transforming their locks into masterpieces perfect for their face, their frame and their personalities. We were crushed when she moved on, and of course her former employer would not even hint to her whereabouts. Nearly a year later, she was discovered at a salon on the other side of town, word spread quickly, appointments made and many continued to see her long after we graduated.

Unable to make the trip back to Kerri, I started a string of one appointment stands and was unable to develop a long term relationship, that is, until Adrianna came into my life over 3 years after graduation. Adrianna and I remained together for over 5 years until the long distance became too difficult to bear. My experience with Kerri caused the unnatural cling to Adrianna, but the breakup was made easier by Paula.

It only took a couple of appointments before feeling comfortable enough to take the ultimate plunge with Paula; saying the words “just do whatever you want.” The results were beautiful, for weeks heads snapped at work, people unable to recognize the new and improved me. As any woman can attest, finding your hairdresser after they move is a nearly impossible task, but I was determined, it took me too long to find her and my upcoming college reunion motivated me to keep looking.

Living in a small big city is both a blessing and a curse; there are fewer degrees of separation and everyone knows everyone. Using this to my advantage, I am sad to report my mechanic Scott is now employed as a lead mechanic at a Toyota dealership, which does little good for my Jeep. Luckily, Paula went independent and has a chair at Thomas Charles Salon in Minneapolis. We were reunited today, exchanged hugs and personal phone numbers. I will not lose her again, a good hairdresser is way too hard to find.

Wedding Season Advice

A few years ago, I was interviewed for an article on "Professional Brides" (definition: brides with professional jobs, not brides with multiple weddings under their belt). The final question of the interview was: "What advice would you give a bride/ groom-to-be?" As the June wedding season approaches, I wanted to share my "expert" advise.

• First Read “What Nobody Tells the Bride” by Marg Stark.
• Don’t skimp on the ceremony. Put thought into it. That’s what the day is really about.
• Pick your battles. Agreeing to wear a veil for a few hours meant so much to my mom that she did not flip out about me taking photos with my fiancee before our actual ceremony.
• Finish your photos before your ceremony. Do the special moment of seeing each other then. Why waste precious fun time with family and friends to spend your first hour (or two) as husband and wife with your photographer.
• Spend your money on food, booze and music. That’s really what people remember years after you say I Do.
• Everything leading up to the wedding is exhausting. Every bride I have talked to has slept for 4 straight days after the wedding. Have a relaxing honeymoon. A city a day in Europe is not a way to unwind after the wedding.
• Take a honeymoon. Even if it is local. You'll need the rest and the time together to bask in the marriage afterglow.
• Visit theknot.com chat room. You will make friends with “knotties” who are more like you while realizing how many crazy, insane people are out there getting married.
• Hire a photographer and videographer. Get toasting glasses engraved. Have a photo frame for people to sign. Have your bouquet freeze-dried. The day goes by so quickly, all these items of the day are what you have to remember the day forever.
• Remember these words “All you need is a bride, a groom, a minister (or judge) a license and two witnesses to get married. There is a difference between getting married and having a wedding. People say they can’t afford to get married. Anyone with $30 can afford to get married, it’s the wedding that is expensive.
• Make the day yours. Each couple is unique, bring that uniqueness to the day.
• Don’t make the day so unique that your guests moan and groan and leave early.
• Don't ignore every cheesy tradition, traditions are what people remember long after the day is over.
• Assign people important tasks the day of the wedding, you won’t remember anything. People feel bad making their friends the “guestbook attendant” but guess what, no guestbook attendant, no signed guestbook. No rice hander-outers, no rice.
• Don't assign people things that won't make them feel special.
• Don’t get so wrapped up in planning the wedding that you forget there is a marriage afterwards. If you ask most people who are divorced within a few years of getting married, they will all tell you they saw signs before the wedding but were far too focused on planning the wedding to give their feelings much thought.
• Most people don’t have sex on their wedding night because they are too tired. A good way to prevent this tragedy from clouding your wedding night is to forgo sex for a few months before your wedding. Guaranteed, you'll be climbing the walls.
• Don't sweat the small stuff... you will be the only one who notices if the flowers are the wrong shade or the napkins are folded wrong.
• Stand back on your wedding day and take it all in.
• Have fun!