Challenger Disaster Remembered

25 years ago today the US Space Program and the people of the United States suffered a major loss when the Space Shuttle Challenger blew up 73 seconds after lift-off. 25 years later I still recall with vivid detail watching the launch from the living room couch. I was ten and home sick from school. I cannot remember if I was sick or “sick;” it is perfectly conceivable that I played sick to stay home and watch the launch. This is something my mother would have let me play sick for because I was obsessed with the Space Program, like so many ten year olds. But unlike many ten year olds I was lucky enough to witness the very first Space Shuttle, Columbia, launch on April 12, 1981 when vacationing with my family in Florida. I remembering the earth literally shaking as the shuttle lifted from the ground and rose to the heavens above. I was not even six yet, but remember distinctively thinking to myself “when I grow up, I want to be an astronaut."

Prior to 9/11, “Where were you when the Space Shuttle Challenger Exploded” was like the “Where were you when JFK was shot” for late Gen-Xers. My sisters, who were also sick, and I were eating chicken noodle soup nestled behind our TV trays and glued to the Price Is Right. Our mother turned the TV to CNN right after the first showcase showdown and the Space Shuttle in all its amazing aerodynamic glory sat upon the launch pad ready for liftoff. In unison the three of us counted down with mission control from 10, 9, 8, 7, 6… the rockets firing and the amazing power of lifting something so large off the ground and into the sky. The sky was clear and with each second the Shuttle appeared whiter and whiter against the sky as it ascended into the deeper, darker blue of the atmosphere.

For someone who had witnessed many of the launches, both in person and on TV, I knew every stage of the process; what happened with each throttle, and when the booster rockets departed ways from the aircraft. I was baffled when the ball of fire engulfed the shuttle and mission control was still talking as if everything was okay. It was so obviously not okay. The CNN commentator when silent, everything was so very quiet and eerie and it seemed like forever before the words I will always remember were broadcast from mission control. “Obviously a major malfunction.” I started to cry, as so many people did. We sat glued to the tv for hours, I remember when the news focused on parachuters descending from the sky, hoping it was possible that crew members ejected themselves from the fiery wreck and then saying it was just a rescuer. After a while hope was gone and we were faced with the reality that 7 Americans gave their lives during the mission.

The Challenger explosion had a major impact on the trajectory of my life. Up until that point, I wanted to study science, become an Astronaut, and fly to space. The reality of the situation hit me like a ton of bricks, my innocence lost. This was no longer a cool job that included space walks, zero-gravity, and funky space suits. This was a dangerous job where people died. It scared me, and it was the first time I ever really thought of and faced my own mortality. Before 11:38 EDT on January 26, 1986 I wanted to be an Astronaut. After that time I didn’t and honestly, still don’t truly know what I want to be when I grow up because no job seems as cool and amazing. I still have a photo of the Challenger crew and sometimes wonder what life would have been like had I not been scared away from my childhood dream job.

I will always remember the exact date of the Challenger disaster not only because it changed my life and desired career path, but because January 28th is my Grandmother’s birthday. Ironically, I will always remember where I was when the Space Shuttle Columbia disintegrated upon reentry to earth. February 1, 2003 was one of the more difficult days of my life. My Grandmother passed away on January 29th, mere hours after her 91st birthday. A few days later we were driving from her funeral church service to the cemetery to lay her to rest when the news hit the radio of the Columbia disaster. Both these events remind me of my old dream to be an Astronaut, and of my beloved Grandmother. I like to believe Grandma and these American heroes are now amongst the stars.

I'm Still Standing

I’m back. I think. I am plotting my return from a self-imposed writing hiatus brought to yours truly by something more debilitating than plain-Jane writer’s block; word block. I am no stranger to this odd communication phenomenon. It is so familiar I can tell the signs of its impending arrival much like a tickle in the throat sends us to the pharmacy for some vitamin C and cold medicine. My mind goes blank in mid-conversation, I can’t remember simple words like “dog,” “car, or “beer.” The names of people I see everyday become completely foreign. Simple conversation becomes painful as I struggle to find not just the right words, but any word. I develop a stutter and shut down to hide this inarticulate stranger I become. My most recent struggle with word block was especially painful because I thought I was doing a good job managing what brings about these symptoms, stress, but apparently was not doing as well as I thought.

For most Americans stress-management is as foreign as eating sushi for breakfast; it’s just not done here. Americans could easily be categorized as stress-junkies. Our culture pushes people to take on more; more responsibilities, more debt, more projects, more stuff. It is common-place for people to brag about how busy they are, as if who can fit more into a single day is the ultimate badge of honor. Enjoying a lazy day of doing nothing is tantamount to treason. Who is putting in more hours at work? Who is skipping on vacations and time with family and friends because there is far too much to get done? Who is over-volunteering for a club, a charity, or organization when they barely have time for themselves?

The word block freight train signals that some stressor in my life needs to be dealt with. Addressing the cause of my communication issues often eliminates the block altogether but this time was different. There was nothing I could pinpoint as causing my block. All the things that historically kept me from reaching my upper-stress limits were actively in place; regular workouts, time to read, quality time with people I love, and red wine. Although I was actively engaged in de-stressors, some stress caused me to lose my normally eloquent self.

Eventually I was able to pinpoint what the cause of my stress was; the world around me. Sure, that might seem like a generalistic copout but you can’t turn on the TV, radio, or computer without hearing about the difficult time we live in. Skyrocketing unemployment, plummeting home values, and raging wars caused me to stress out through some type of media osmosis. Reading the paper, watching the news, sympathizing with out of work friends brought on survivors guilt. I still (as of “print” time) have my job. I still have my home. I still have 3 meals a day. I still have healthcare. I still have stability in a world where increasing numbers of people don’t.

Survivor’s guilt is not the only reason for stress. As many corporate survivors will tell you after a layoff, there is incredible pressure to take on more, do more, and demonstrate more value. Employers demand that “survivors” pick up the slack so they can squeeze more out of a smaller workforce, using tough economic times to get more for less. We are told repeatedly that we are lucky to have our jobs, even if those jobs are no longer what we “signed-up” for. Too many find themselves overworked and under appreciated yet unable to express those feelings for fear of losing our jobs.

To weather my stress storm it is important to keep reminding myself that my life isn’t as bad as the media wants me to believe. My home value is in the toilet but we aren’t planning to sell anytime soon. My 401K is shot but I am decades away from retirement. The industry I work for might change dramatically in the upcoming years but the skillset I have translates well to any and all industries. There are many things I could lose if the economy keeps plummeting, but in the grand scheme of things it is those things that I can never lose that are most important to me; the love of my family, my close friends, my education, and my life experiences.

"Birth" Announcement

For years I have wrestled with a personal struggle that my closest friends and family were all too aware of but didn’t know quite how to help. They all watched as I put my body and mind through the wringer in an effort make my dreams a reality. I tried everything; different positions, consultations with specialists in the field of medicine, meditation, exercise, yet nothing happened. People often told me to relax, that I was trying too hard, that I was too uptight, that nothing would happen if I didn’t just chill, but these words fell on deaf ears. How can they possibly give me advice, they have no idea what I was going through. Time marched on and people around me were making their big announcements and it didn’t seem fair, why were they so lucky? What were they doing that I wasn’t? With my self-confidence shredded I thought about giving up, maybe it was not in the cards for me, maybe I wasn’t good enough, or deserving enough. It took nearly two years of hard work, sacrifice, struggle, heartache, and sometimes tears but here I am, about to tell the world (or a small cross-section of it) my big news.

On Friday morning I received word that I was promoted at work. Without going into too many details this is a personal victory of monumental proportions, one that many agree is long overdue making. Moving mountains might be easier than getting a promotion in my organization and I had actually considered leaving the company for a year to come back in at a higher position; a very successful method that many colleagues use to get ahead. But alas the bittersweet moment came and I am trying to savor sweet happiness rather then wallow in the bitterness that it took so long. Ironically I received my big announcement about 30 minutes after hearing the family news that my cousin was in the hospital about to give birth. My family eagerly awaited the arrival of the newest family addition and I am not naïve to think that anyone would find my news that exciting given the circumstances. So I told a couple of coworkers, a friend, my mother, and my husband. My mother’s excitement actually surprised me given the impending arrival would make her a Great Grand Aunt. I didn’t want to push my luck by telling my sisters who for all intensive purposes were about to become Aunts to a cousin who is like a sister; someone would have their thunder stolen, and that person would be me.

Through the years I have spoken with other childfree women who struggle with how to share their own “big news.” Pregnant women broadcast their news from the hilltops, expecting all around to be happy and joyous. People expect women to have children and many childfree woman are pressured into changing their minds and making the announcement that all their friends and family really want to hear; any other update is secondary. Unfortunately other life successes are discounted because people place such emphasis on women as child bearers. The role of mother is an important one (one I argue that far too many people do not take seriously enough), but women who choose other roles and other paths in life should not be dismissed as less important. Although it is a satirical newspaper, The Onion recently published a line that many childfree women can relate to and communicates volumes on this topic; "But what do I know. I'm just the lead researcher for an entire team of Northwestern grad students who look to me for the answer because I'm their boss. All my achievements are irrelevant because I never had any kids, right, Mom? Right?"

From another angle it did not dawn on me until recently how friends and family might struggle with the right way of announcing their pregnancy news to me or any other openly childfree person. The epiphany came when my friend Becca shared her news with the following caveat; “We know it’s not for everyone but we're excited about this next stage in our lives and wanted to share the news.” Admittedly I’m not as excited as their other friends and my focus is on the health and well-being of the woman I already know and love and not that of the child she is carrying. I might not fully understand why anyone would want children, but when the announcement comes from a couple who are stable, loving, healthy, happy, financially sound, and competent then I can share in their happiness.

Those who meet my “criteria” for sharing in pregnancy happiness are often the same couples who accept and embrace me for who I am and would receive my non-pregnancy news with equal excitement. They are people who accept that babies aren’t for everyone and understand there are other paths in life that deserve celebration and recognition. Some women conceive babies, others conceive ideas. Some women birth human babies, others “birth” businesses, books, art, gardens, blogs, stamps in their passport, marathons, community service, and promotions. These are the “babies” of the childfree that also take years to develop, raise, and grow. It is important to recognize and celebrate these successes whether a woman is a parent or not.

Dolby Stereotype

As hard as I try to be open-minded and practice a certain degree of political correctness, there are certain thoughts that routinely go through my head that make me think I have a very long way to go in my path to worldly and cultural tolerance. My issue is that many stereotypes applied to particular races, religions, cultures, or social classes are perpetuated by the very people within the group. My judgments and thoughts are not aimed at particular group, but at any single person engaging in a practice or behavior that I find unacceptable and would question regardless of background. It is important, and legally wise, to practice equality in the workplace. I am passionate about workplace equality, myself a victim of “old boys club” sexism, which makes admitting my own form of bias all that more difficult. The cause of my prejudice might seem catty, but I am not alone in assessing people based upon a decision they make in their closets each morning.

It might seem unfair or old-fashioned to judge people by their fashion choices but “Dress for Success” is not just a kitschy little phrase but a ground rule for being taken seriously in work and in life. Outward appearance is our cover letter to the world and if people are uninterested or offended by the cover letter they will never read the attached resume; the personality, intelligence, and experience that lies below the surface. “Never judge a book by its cover” is a nice lesson we’re each taught by our parents, but in reality everyone and everything is critiqued in one way or another at how it is presented. If the cover of a book was unimportant publishing companies would not focus time and energy on determining the best colors, fonts, photos, and illustrations needed to sell more copies.

Costume design is as important to a movie as a powerful actor or a well written script. Moviegoers can instantly assess the historic time period of a film, the location and season of the scene, and the age, social class, profession and personality of a character simply through the attire. Producers, Directors, and Costume Designers put intense thought into every aspect of a person’s costume; costume design is a powerful tool in selling the believability of a character and the film. Wall Street Tycoons don’t wear jeans and tee-shirts in the movies.

Style is important to the image we each want to portray to the world and fashion choices should reflect the character you want to be in the world. Jacqueline Kennedy Onassis is a prime example of a person who communicated her personality, grace, strength, and charm through her choice of clothing. Without the use of provocative clothing Madonna might be recording memos in an office rather than platinum records. If you are trying to be successful in the adult entertainment industry then it is perfectly acceptable to dress for work in plunging necklines and daisy dukes.

Climbing the corporate ladder in a mini-skirt might work for Ally McBeal, but anyone who has climbed a ladder in inappropriate attire knows the risk of exposing too much. If a woman known for push up bras and stiletto heels somehow moves up in a company, most people are going think it is because she’s going down on the boss, no matter how smart or driven she is. In my career I have seen too many intelligent women “over sex” themselves at the office and guess what; no one thinks they are very intelligent.
Style in the workplace is not just for women. There are plenty of men who think black Chuck Taylors are the perfect dress shoe and ironing is optional. It is hard to take a man seriously when he looks like a childish, sloppy mess.

Clothing is one way we each assess a person outside the workplace as well. Many argue that you shouldn’t judge a person by their attire, but without judging outward appearances how would we each know who is okay to approach in a bar, or to ask directions. People make snap judgments to establish safety, comfort, and security. If you don’t want people thinking you are a thief and a murderer you should consider not dressing like a thug. If people treat you in a way you don’t like, analyze the message you are sending them.

It is hard not to judge people on their appearance, but especially hard not to judge a person by their clothing since that is something we can each control. You don’t need to be a fashion icon, lord knows I’m not. Nor am supporting the mindset that women “asked to be raped” due to their fashion choices. What I am saying is people make their initial judgments on the personality, intelligence, strength and character of a person by how they appear. This might not be right, but it is reality; you never get a second chance to make a first impression. We are each actors in our own life screenplay, making decisions everyday to further develop our script. Ensuring costumes match the script is an important step to have your story taken seriously.

Care and Feeding of Little Googlers

Earlier this year I had an opportunity to attend an employee benefits conference in California. My purpose; to gain a better understanding of what businesses, and many of their respective benefits consultants, were looking to implement in their benefit plans to save money (and therefore continue to offer health benefits). Representatives from companies of various sizes, backgrounds, and locations openly discussed their benefit pain points, and what was working or not working to control skyrocketing costs. Hearing about the cost benefits of different wellness programs helping pteople live healthier lives, work at home programs to help people save on the cost of fuel, and work/life programs aimed at reducing absenteeism and increase employee retention were fascinating. In one work session a speaker from the internet powerhouse Google presented on the wealth of benefits they offer their employees, from free organic gourmet meals in the cafeterias to masseuses on staff. Everyone at my table, including attendees representing everything from government agencies to the nation’s largest garbage collector, were chuckling under their breaths at how easy offering rich and unique benefits must be for a multi-billion dollar company. As most companies struggled to provide basic health and disability insurance for their employees, Google pontificated the importance of daily massages for employee morale. One woman at my table looked at all of us and said; “it will be funny to read news of sinking employee morale at Google when their bubble breaks and all these extravagances get tossed.” We all agreed, and less than six months later, we’re already laughing.

Google co-founders Larry Page and Sergey Brin wrote the following in response to speculation that the employee-focused culture would change after Google went public; “We provide many unusual benefits for our employees, including meals free of charge, doctors and washing machines. We are careful to consider the long term advantages to the company of these benefits. Expect us to add benefits rather than pare them down over time. We believe it is easy to be penny wise and pound foolish with respect to benefits that can save employees considerable time and improve their health and productivity.” Their “employee first” tune is apparently changing as competition from former employees, stock volatility, a weak economy, slowed growth, and poor business expansion decisions affect Google’s bottom line. Suddenly the decision makers at Google have to look at their books and determine what expenses to eliminate in an effort to circumvent financial woes. Imagine the shock of Google bean counters when they discovered company supported daycare as a major culprit in high corporate spend.

Investigation revealed that Google’s top of the line Reggio Emilia philosophy daycare centers were company subsidized at a rate $37,000 for each child. With a cap of 200 children in the daycare facility, this meant Google spent 7.4 million dollars a year providing daycare to a relatively small number of employees in their Silicon Valley location. Wasn’t that a nice little perk for Google parents?

Google executives concluded that parents needed to foot a large part of the daycare bill, proposing a 75% increase in charges; a total bill of $2500 per month/per child. Parents rebelled, uproar heard throughout the land. The New York Times did a piece around Google missing the mark, arguing they should lower the overall cost of daycare by booting the high cost delivery of Reggio Emilia so people other than Google’s elite could afford it; Google daycare is more expensive for parents then other facilities. Arguments that affordable company run daycare is a right, that Google and other companies should be working hard to ensure parents receive, ignore the blatant compensation discrimination of this benefit. Dolling out monetary bonuses to those who choose to have children discriminates against the childfree, those who can’t have children, choose to have a parent stay home, and those whose children are already grown. Employee benefits like healthcare, life insurance, gym memberships, 401(k)s, stock purchase plans, and travel reimbursements are available to every employee regardless of age, gender, or procreation status; daycare is not. All those “Googlers” without children, with children at home, or who were unable to get one of the 200 coveted seats in the center, were left out of sharing the $7.4 million benefit dollars a year this daycare cost. Share this money across a greater number of people in the form of a “work-life balance” benefit, allowing people to choose whether they wanted to spend this money on daycare (for children or their aging parents), pet care, grocery delivery, a lawn service, house cleaners, gardeners, whatever it takes to help each individual balance their heavy workload with the pressures at home. Parents are not the only people struggling with too few hours in their day.

Google is now like any company with funding pressures. Curtailing some of the more extravagant perks has executives backpedaling on some of the management philosophies they espoused for years. Co-founder and President of Technology Sergey Brin, often quoted in interviews on the importance of strong employee benefits and how providing things like free meals and on-site dry cleaning is a cornerstone to their company’s success, is now found saying things like “[he] had no sympathy for the parents [in the subsidized daycare issue],” and that he was “tired of ‘Googlers’ who felt entitled to perks like 'bottled water and M&Ms'." I could not agree with Mr. Brin more; these parents are elitist in thinking that anyone is responsible for paying for the care of their children other then themselves. However, Sergey Brin, his partner Larry Page, and other executives at Google created their own elitist monsters by setting expectations too highs. Reality sucks, and Google is beginning to understand the reasons why many other companies struggle with the costs associated with employee health and wellness benefits. Google executives and employees are finally learning an important lesson that most people hear in Economics 101; there is no such thing as a free lunch (or daycare).

Me Rite pretty To-day

One impetus for starting this blog was a desire to sharpen my writing skills and combat the inevitable decline that occurs when making the transition from college to the work environment. College professors at Mary Washington, and I should hope most institutions of higher education, required demanded their students to produce well written papers; eloquent, thought-provoking, interesting, and sometimes controversial. A few of the better professors challenged students to take our own opinions and explore other perspectives in writing, a technique often used when preparing for a debate. Writing on a topic of personal passion is easier than penning a viewpoint that opposes that passion, compelling a person to choose their words and delivery method wisely. These exercises tested not only our journalistic skills but our very belief system, creating avenues for personal philosophical debates and sharpening of our thought processes. Business writing utilizes some of these developed skills, but does not require nearly the same eloquence or allow for ample time to get the point across. While my days of 15 page papers might be long gone, there is still some skill needed to produce PowerPoint bullets that have a point and prove that point; even when you do not agree with the point. After acknowledging that business writing presented a different set of challenges than academic writing, I began my quest to write like a college student and am happy to report that the success of the endeavor.

According to the “Blog Readability Test,” a service that analyzes blog pages to determine what level of education is needed to read the site, Explosive Bombchelle is written at the college reading level.

This means I can still use words like a college student! Most of my work writing is geared at communicating to executives and colleagues who could certainly read at a college level, but do not have the time to devote to that level of reading. Others I work with utilize readability services and consultants that help gear their writing to the general populace and adhere to US government regulations and plain language laws. It is not uncommon for graduates to struggle with maintaining all the knowledge and writing skills developed in school. A good writer, like a good athlete, needs to strengthen their skills through hard work and practice. Even those who write for a living must find it difficult to maintain the same skill level they once possessed in school. Writing for a college professor is much more difficult than writing for any given publication; the New York Times and Washington Post maintain a High School reading level, Sports Illustrated is written at a Junior High Level. The government maintains that Medicare and Medicaid mailings should read at the Fifth Grade level yet the Internal Revenue Service Code is written beyond college reading level, go figure.

In conclusion, writing this blog has allowed me to:

• Sharpen my writing skills.
• Maintain my college level vocabulary.
• Explore my thoughts and opinions.
• Understand and analyze the opinions of others.

Bullets… just in case you required an Executive Summary.

Many thanks to Stepher for posting the Blog Readability Test.
Amendment to original post:
In response to my cousin Drew’s comment regarding the readability of the US Constitution, I had no choice but to see what the Blog Readability Test had to say about our founding fathers’ writing:

Very humbling...

Fit or Trimmed

People were watching what I was putting on my buffet plate and this is not just paranoia or a woman wrestling with a serious eating disorder speaking. At breakfast eyes burned into me as the line moved past the yogurt and onto the pastries. The pastries, bursting with sugary goodness, called my name but there was no way I could enjoy even a bite with an attentive audience. Then there was the French fry bar at lunch, oh how I love French fries with toppings like cheese and chili; as if the fries are not unhealthy enough on their own. Alas there was just no way to enjoy grease laden potatoes when everyone anticipated a plate full of fruits and veggies before me.

Recently I had the pleasure of attending a conference for companies looking to improve the health and well being of their employees with a major focus on programs and incentives geared towards physical and mental health. My reasons for attending the conference were quite different then most of the attendees; I was looking to learn what health issues companies were struggling with and what competitors were doing to address them. At any other conference an eye would nary be batted at a person loading their buffet plates and ordering a fourth beer but this was neither the time nor the place to test the limits of my stomach or tolerance; I was now representing my company as an example of our commitment to personal health and wellness.

Referencing the press conference playbooks of fallen sports heroes, I was not looking to be a role model; just looking to play my game. Like those sports heroes caught in scandal I felt any wrong move at snack and meal times and I would bring shame (and therefore less business) to my employer. This is something I have struggled with over the previous year or so and this conference made it all too apparent that moving up in this business meant working hard in the office AND at the gym. A very subtle evolution at work that those not sensitive to the struggles of the overweight would even notice is occurring; to be the face of the organization you must physically portray the mission of the company. Our mission is to improve the quality and affordability of healthcare through providing care and support to people, empowering them to make better decisions about their health and care. Our nurses and coaches touch the lives of millions every year by coaching them to make better personal choices; find who will give them top quality healthcare, determine what is the best course of action for better health outcomes, schedule when and where to see the best doctors and educate callers on how to take better care of themselves whether they are chronically ill or trying to live a healthier lifestyle. Moving up any organizational chart often requires an increased amount of client facing time. As many sales people know there is an intense pressure to look good when in front of clients and this pressure is extra intense when trying to sell health. Our clients are looking to see if we practice what we preach and any indication of an unhealthy lifestyle, like smoking or carrying a few extra pounds, does not align with our mission to promote a culture of health and is ultimately a poor reflection on our commitment to promoting healthier lives.

Executives and benefit coordinators from companies nationwide are seeking ways to decrease their healthcare dollar spend and increase workforce productivity through promoting a healthier workplace. In the past our business worked on helping sick people take better care of themselves but that is only a band-aid which did not help people from becoming sick (read: expensive) in the first place. Our customers are now looking to promote a culture of health to keep people healthy before their healthcare becomes expensive and their productivity decreases due to increased absences and disabilities. Smoking programs aimed at getting people to quit are quite popular with employers and for good reason; according to the Centers for Disease control smokers cost employers and extra $1,623 in medical care. The Center for Health Promotion reports that smokers have a 50% higher absentee rate then non-smokers and are 15% more likely then non-smokers to be out of work on a disability. For those employees who keep on smoking employers are increasingly likely to place an extra insurance premium on them to make up for the costs.

In the world of healthcare the focus on smoking is so 20th century. Those who think that they are immune from pressure to live a healthier lifestyle and lose that extra weight at work are ignoring the similarities between smoking and weight in our culture. The days of smoking being chic and accepted in the workplace and beyond are long gone, replaced by smokers hiding their habit for fear of extra insurance premiums or job loss. It was not long ago (although before my time) where people would sit in a board room with heavy smoke wafting through the air; can you imagine that now? Now it is socially acceptable to attack smoking due to the unarguable health issues associated with it; weight will become the next target.

The stats cannot be refuted; overweight individuals cost and average of $1,400 more a year in healthcare costs then people who are at a healthy weight. Beyond direct healthcare dollars us overweight people (I do fall into that category) miss more work (I wish!) then our thinner counterparts. With more sick days, higher medical claims, more workplace injuries and the risk of weight related chronic diseases it is estimated that a person costs their employer and extra five-dollars per pound overweight each month. With stats like these, the inability to hide a weight problem and the sheer number of people who are deemed overweight (66% of our country) is it easy to see how weight discrimination claims are on the rise. The discrimination is hard to fight; the obese are an unprotected “group.” Only one state, Michigan, the District of Columbia, and a scattering of cities have laws making weight discrimination illegal. Then there is the difference between blatant discrimination, like being fired because you are fat, and the subtle discrimination like receiving lower raises, being passed over for a promotion or new job, or being put into positions with little room for advancement, that are hard to prove. People generally support anti-smoking legislation because of tobacco’s cost to our overall society. When people realize their overweight co-workers are costing the company more money and effecting raises and healthcare premiums will they rebel against the overweight for affecting their personal finances?

The pressure to practice what we preach and become the outward picture of health that aligns with our mission and vision is overwhelming but also motivating. Even as an overweight person I found myself looking around the room at the conference and wondering if I would take a few of the morbidly obese people representing other health and wellness companies seriously; were people looking at me and wondering the same? I was also dumbfounded at the number of executives who did not understand why their wellness campaigns and incentives for smoking cessation and weight loss were not working while they were sucking on a cancer stick and shoving a cookie into their pudgy mouths; ever hear of leading by example? It is sad that this career pressure to be thin is a more effective motivator in losing weight then my health and well being ever was; knowing all I do about healthcare I am still like most Americans and pay more attention to my job then my own health. Beyond just the job pressure to be thin studies that conclude that overweight people earn less over their lifetime due to subtle discrimination, limited advancement opportunities and increased cost of health related issues; weight is bad for your health and wealth. But as the cost of healthcare rises beyond the rate of inflation and contributes to recessionary times the time is not far away where everyone, not just those whose career is in the healthcare field, will feel pressure to eat, or not eat, like their job depended on it. So long as your employer, or the government, is paying towards your healthcare then weight, like smoking, is fair game and no longer a personal lifestyle choice.

Sasquatch in the City

Last week was one of those weeks where Tuesday felt like Friday and the only things slower then the workday were the people around me. No matter how hard I worked or how many hours were logged at the office my to-do list only got longer and longer. Dreams quickly turned into nightmares as my coworkers took center stage even at night, reminding me in sleep just how much there is to do. Running around the office, desperately attempting to chip away at the laundry list of must-dos I was confronted by a co-worker who wanted to talk to me about something very important, something that had been bothering her for weeks. Her hushed tone and secretive approach had me both worried and intrigued, wondering if anything could have gone terribly wrong with deliverables on a project where she and I crossed paths. Much to my surprise the important conversation was not on that project or a client question. Our conversation turned personal very quickly as she begun with “You’re a very pretty girl but…”

It is amazing that the sentence did not actually take a long pause with the word “but” yet my brain had enough time to process hundreds of possible endings. It is almost embarrassing to admit the myriad of things that went through my head to finish off this backhanded compliment. The first was one I have unfortunately heard from family and strangers for decades; “you would be beautiful if you lost some weight.” Intense sadness overwhelmed me as I thought of all the times I heard those words and all the girls who still hear in various ways that only thin girls are beautiful. Shaking off the sting from those haunting words my mind went into overtime trying to prepare for any other potential things this co-worker was going to say. You’re a pretty girl but… you should cut your hair, wear makeup, change deodorant, wax your eyebrows, use a breath mint, stand straight, watch your language, or find Jesus. What else could she possibly say?

You could just imagine my surprise when this co-worker completed her sentence with “you wear the most awful shoes.” Apparently my shoes are big, clunky and not very feminine and if I would just wear better shoes I would be more graceful. Out of everything I expected from the conversation I never expected the focus to be on my shoes. I was completely prepared with a retort on my weight, makeup, hair or breath but could not for the life of me formulate a response about my shoes. After looking down at my feet the only thing I could communicate was it was winter and I will not wear dainty shoes in the snow. The shock on my face was apparent but I could not spit anything out of my mouth that would be constructive, appropriate or witty. Shock quickly turned into disbelief as I replayed the un-welcomed and unwarranted fashion advice.

This unusual conversation could qualify as an HR violation but my coworker meant no harm. She was trying to bestow some honest advice which makes me seriously wonder how many others she chatted to about my gigantic shoes before having the courage to schedule a footwear intervention. A partner with my first post-college employer once approached me about my attire. She did not wish to embarrass or offend me but felt as a woman in a man’s world she needed to give me career advice that I could take or leave. Her advice; even in a business casual culture it is important for a woman, especially a blonde woman, to dress for success if she wants to be taken seriously. There were many times in my career that I did not heed her advice and at those times I realized just how right she was; when I wear a suit people treat me with a higher level of authority, but my shoes?

Men with foot fetishes are not ones to give me a second look and modeling agencies have yet to knock down the door with a shoe modeling contract. Trips to the shoe store are just slightly less painful then a root canal. With big feet it is nearly impossible to find shoes in my size let alone “cute” shoes. Size 6 shoes displayed in storefront windows are adorable but those same shoes in a size 10 and above look like small tug boats. To make matters worse my feet often swell as a result of breaking both, in separate incidents, within the past 5 years (for the record, neither of those accidents were a result of bad shoes). So not only is it impossible to find shoes that fit but when I do they end up being more functional then fashionable. If it were not completely inappropriate for the workplace my paws would wear nothing but flip-flops, allowing plenty of room to swell. The development of my nasty purse habit is directly correlated to shoe envy, jealous of women who could fill their closets with the latest stilettos and espadrilles.

Considering the suggestion that smaller shoes would lead to more grace and beauty is appealing. After a lifetime of being large and clumsy was the right pair of shoes the only thing needed to complete my modern day Cinderella story? Could I somehow become the picture of charm and poise when Prince Shoesalesman slipped on the right pumps? It is a nice thought but somehow I do not think a pair of Jimmy Choos or Manolo Blahniks would transform me or any other woman into the picture of elegance. Dainty girls don’t throw shot put, play rugby or bounce at bars. At five foot nine and 195 pounds it is safe to say there is not a dainty bone in my body and no shoe in the world will ever transform that. Shoes are only magical in fairy tales or for women with itty bitty feet. The rest of us have to find our fashion magic elsewhere.

Evaluate Thy Self

My time devoted to pleasurable writing this week was disrupted by one of the most painful experiences in any corporate environment; yearly self evaluations. Each year I struggle, trying to find the fine line between self marketing and conceited boasting. Worse then blowing your own horn is trying to determine what areas of improvement to focus upon to counterbalance the bragging without exposing too many shortcomings. After over a week of writing in hour long clips, trying not to puke at the things I did over the past year and how they sound on paper, the yearly undertaking finally came to closure last night. To ensure I adhere to the writing goals set forth in my New Year’s Resolution list here are excerpts from my self evaluation; proof that I wrote some beautiful “non-fiction” prose this week.

Michelle partnered with Account Executives, Client Implementation and Sales to steward client goals and visions, interfacing throughout the organization to bridge silos of expertise with groups including Account Management, Marketing, Finance, Operations Delivery, Training, Reporting and IT while developing relationships to effectively execute strategy. During this process she began developing greater cross-product team relationships to drive long term strategies for product and operations integration efforts.

Designed business and operational processes to ensure that populations with differing health and wellness requirements could receive the services they needed without sacrificing the integrity of the product line or success metrics while ensuring data designs supported outcomes reporting.

Michelle identified opportunities for process improvement, facilitated design and process enhancement workshops, executed process updates, educated stakeholders on process design best practices, authored and supported the development of business requirements, validated deliverables against business principles and goals, collaborated with cross-functional representatives and advocated change within the organization.

Michelle’s big picture understanding allowed her to recognize the broader needs and issues surrounding each product and functional area during her work with client solutioning to ensure issues were addressed and small decisions would have minimal impact on downstream teams and processes.

Michelle’s understanding of corporate and internal systems and her ability to translate business and operational needs into technical requirements is a great benefit to the organization. As she moves out of more tactically focused work Michelle needs to gain more experience driving operational strategy to fully capitalize on her background and abilities.

With this complete it is now time to focus more on my societal observations and less on my contribution to "the man."

Blockhead

It’s raining; again. After enjoying a very dry June and July where in return for high water bills we got to enjoy the great outdoors constantly without mosquitoes, a complete 180 in the weather pattern has brought what feels like constant rain since mid-August. It is like we are living in the Northwest, but without the mountains and the ocean to keep our minds off of the crummy weather. Being someone whose mood is in direct correlation to sunshine exposure, the wet and gray skies are really putting a damper on my attitude and inducing a horrific bout of writer’s block, which honestly could not have come at a worse time.

Writer’s block must be absolutely the nastiest thing in the world when your livelihood is dependent on putting words to paper. You just stare blankly at the screen before you, frozen by the inability to come up with anything remotely intelligent. Writing more frequently for pleasure has made me recognize how much I actually suffer from some of the same creative roadblocks that journalists and authors do in their chosen professions. As a Business Architect and Business Process Specialist, my day-to-day writing revolves around the production of intricate process flows and presentations. Although my words are more concise bullets then flowery prose, it still requires a great deal of creativity to take an entire business and condense it into a few 8x11 pages that everyone, from business executives and sales to programmers, can understand and execute upon.

This week, I am working upon two major deadlines required for 1/1/08 launches. The project plan shows that client implementation, sales, technology, training and call operations all have major dependencies on my output to move forward with their work. Adding to the pressure is this being my time to shine after the unfortunate career hiccup and consequential department shift that occurred this summer. Never in my 10 years of post-college work have I felt such pressure to go above and beyond the call of duty and show the world what I’m made of, yet, here I sit suffering from analysis paralysis and unable to put a single keystroke toward the completion of this projects. Is it the rainy blues, or am I crumbling under the pressure?

This morning, my dogs were the unfortunate victims of my writer’s block, being forced to take a very long walk in the pouring rain. Returning home 3 miles later, cold and soaking wet, yielded nothing more then two smelly, mud covered dogs and, more then likely, a cold in a few days. With the deadline looming over my head like the dark clouds outside, I am taking a chapter from straight from writer’s “how-to” books and doing the one thing that many claim cures writer’s block; writing about the writer’s block. This writing exercise is one that is recommended by professionals the world over to combat this debilitating condition. For those who have never suffered from writer’s block, the only way I can explain how it feels is taking one of those moments you are stuck in conversation, unable to think of a word, and multiply that feeling of frustration and helplessness by a million. Personally, I am overcome by a feeling that my brain is shutting down, unable to process even the tiniest thoughts. Writer’s block effects my speech patterns; I begin having a nervous stutter anticipating that the writer’s block is going to cause speakers block. Silly as it might sound; I feel overwhelmed, humbled, stupid and embarrassed even opening my mouth in front of others, afraid they are going to realize this shortcoming. Rather then bring attention upon me, I begin to clam up and stop participating in conversations and become a wallflower in meetings and workshops.

Unfortunately, I must muster through this issue and get through this week, forget the thought of producing perfect work just to produce any work at all. To compare work to school, there is just no way I can possibly get an A on this assignment, but I have to suck it up and get things done so I can just pass the class.

The Company that Cried Wolf

There once was a company filled with bosses who took pleasure in making their employees work hard on meaningless documents and tasks that were never really needed. To amuse themselves they would often shout, "Emergency! Work weekends! We have to have this done ASAP! Cancel your vacations! Cancel Christmas! This work needs to get done or we will lose a major client!"

Everyone would jump to attention and do everything they could to help the bosses get the information and documents they needed. But every time people would work late, skip family events, miss holidays and eat out of the vending machine just to get the job done, they found no one actually paid attention to their hard work. The bosses just did not notice or care about how angry the employees were at the emergency just being a false alarm.

"Don't cry 'Emergency'," thought the employees, "when you ignore our work anyway!" They went grumbling back to their cubes feeling very low.

Later, the bosses sang out again, "Emergency! Work Weekends! Our biggest client wants to see these numbers in charts and graphs ASAP!” To their delight, the leaders watched the employees run around to get the work done in an impossible amount of time.

When the employees again saw no signs of their hard work being rewarded or even used, they discussed their anger among themselves, "Save your frightened song for when there is really something wrong! Don't cry 'Emergency' when there is NO Emergency!"

But the bosses just grinned and watched them go back to their cubes not realizing they were looking for new jobs during their lunch breaks.

Later, the leaders realized they had a REAL emergency. Alarmed, they dialed their phones screaming “Emergency! Work weekends! We need this done or we are going to lose a major client! Help!”

But most of the employees had already left the company, and those employees who remained thought the leaders were trying to fool them again with meaningless work that did not align to any long term plans, and so they didn't jump to get the work done.

The next week, everyone wondered why one boss was no longer in the company address book. They went to look for the leader and found him at the local bar crying in a beer.

"There really was an emergency! We lost our biggest client and I lost my job! When I cried out "Emergency,” why didn't you get me everything I needed?"

One employee tried to comfort the leader, ordering another beer handing the ex-boss a copy of the help wanted ads.

"We'll help you look for new job," she said, putting her arm around the jobless ex-boss, “but you need to learn that nobody believes when you shout emergency anymore...even when there is an emergency, you lied so much no one believes you are ever telling the truth.”

Newlywed foiled by office pranksters

What do you get when you combine a dozen or so talented people craving to use their creativity in an energy sapping office and a fun-loving co-worker on a week long honeymoon? You get the prime opportunity to pull off an over the top office prank that people will be talking about for years to come.

The Monday following Mark’s beautifully timed September 21st wedding (a fine day for a wedding anniversary!) his co-workers began recruiting members of the office to punk his cube. What began as an innocent office prank turned into an office-wide phenomenon as word of the project spread. Occupying the cube directly across from Mark gave me the unique opportunity to witness scores of people who came from far and wide to witness the construction project; commenting on the creativity, the attention to detail and the improved radio reception throughout the building. Each day the aluminum foil cube drew increased attention as it became brighter and emitted intense heat from the glare. Four days and over 1000 square feet of aluminum foil later, the masterpiece was complete and ready for Mark’s return to work.

Luckily, Mark has a very good sense of humor and appeared to take the office prank to end all office pranks quite well. What took days and a team of over a dozen people to put together took less then two hours to take down. Luckily, there are some permanent reminders left in the cube to give us a chuckle and remind us of the week we came together to have a little fun at the expense of our co-worker; and foiled everyone’s perception that you cannot have a good time on the job.

For additional pictures visit the full album of aluminum foil photos.

Quote of the Week

My grandfather once told me that there were two kinds of people: those who do the work and those who take the credit. He told me to try to be in the first group; there was much less competition.
--Indira Gandhi

Worst Internship Ever

There is a college student in earshot of my cube who is probably ecstatic he scored a summer internship with a well-respected, fortune 500 company. It will not take long for him to realize he has the worst internship ever.

For the past week, he has called one number after the other to determine if the call is being routed to the correct call center and then documents the results. The script goes like this:

Hello, I'm calling from corporate to test the routing rules. What location are you at? Texas, are you in San Antonio or Dallas? San Antonio, thank you. Good bye. Over and over and over (with different combinations of locations). Today, he is testing the whisper tones. Hello, I'm calling from corporate to test the IVR rules. What location are you at? Ohio, are you in Cleveland or Dayton? Cleveland. Thank you. Did you hear a whisper tone indicating I requested Spanish? Great, thank you, good bye.

This intern will probably do this constantly for the next 8 to 10 weeks. I do not know who is going to go crazier, him for doing such a crappy, boring job, or me having to listen to this for the rest of the summer.

I Moved my Cheese

You might be a victim of an abusive relationship and don’t even know it. Typically, people think of abuse as physical and between romantic partners or parent and child. This limited view of abuse misses a wide range of harm inflicted through non-physical means within a variety of associations, including relationships with friends, co-workers and superiors.

Emotional abuse can be delivered verbally and non-verbally with subtle actions not immediately recognized by the victim or their family and friends. The wounds inflicted by emotional abuse develop over a period of time as the abuser chips away at the self-confidence of their victim with the goal of gaining compliance and control. The abuser gains power over their victim through threats, intimidation, blame, yelling, criticism, shame, possessiveness, violence towards objects or pets, isolation and entrapment, brainwashing the victim to believe there is no way out.

The cycle of abuse follows often follows a very distinct and classic pattern. Different publications refer to the stages by different names, but most align with the following:

• Tension Building and Abuse: In this stage, the abuser builds tension through control and manipulation of their victim. This can be done imposing limits and controls on the victim’s financial, social, religious or familial freedoms. Jealously and possessiveness are used as an additional means of control and the victim is restricted directly or through fear on who they contact, where they can go and when they can do things; isolating the victim from help and support and creating a sense of fear and dependency. As tension increases, the victim gives in to the abuser, attempting to keep the peace.


• Making-Up: When confronted by the victim, the abuser may apologize for behavior and promises to make changes to continue the relationship. The longer the abuse continues, the more likely an abuser will often shift blame for the incident to their victim or deny anything ever happened rather than apologize. At this point, the victim’s self-esteem is eroded and the abuser has successfully trained the victim concede.


• Calm: During the calm stage, an abuser acts like nothing ever happened. Promises made during 'making-up' stage may be met and the victim will have a false sense of security that the cycle is over. The “Calm” stage could last hours, months or even years, but without true acknowledgement of the issues and professional help, the cycle will begin to repeat itself again with the “tension building” stage.

There are long-term effects on the victim of abuse, often referred to as battered person syndrome, which include dangerously low self-esteem, depression, increased alcohol or drug use, loss of friends and family, job performance issues and withdrawal from life. The victim has trouble recognizing the effects of their abuse and often needs help to see how their life is spiraling out of control. Like physical abuse victims, those suffering from emotional abuse return repeatedly to their abuser. The longer the abuse continues, the more help the victim needs to break the pattern and re-claim their lives.

I “survived” an abusive relationship in my past with my employer; where management and executives controlled their employees through threats to salaries, vacation time, job security, family time and advancement. The entire organization was demoralized, convinced the treatment was deserved, developed inferiority complexes and thought no one else would hire them. Every time I began to recognize the effects of this abuse; the plummeting self-esteem, abuse of food and alcohol, feelings of hopelessness and depression, my employer would recognize the flight-risk and enter the “make-up” phase, showering gifts and attention or messages of bad job markets and horror stories from other employers to ensure I would stay. After a couple of years, I decided to take charge of my life and escape the abusive relationship, “breaking up” with my employer and moving on to another job.

Recently, I realized that I was again becoming a victim of an abusive employment situation with a position change that left me working in a toxic environment of passive-aggressiveness, control, manipulation, favoritism and distrust. Realizing this new position was going to cause long term issues and refusing to become a victim again, I worked with friends and family to take control and confront the issues, facing one of the “aggressors” and moving on to another position in the firm. Battered Person Syndrome is more common than many think, is not limited to physical abuse and can be inflicted by people you interact with everyday. A key to happiness and success is recognizing the issue, the symptoms and taking charge; no one should be a victim of emotional abuse.

Everything I know I learned in Consulting

Consulting is not just a job, it is a lifestyle. Not everyone can handle the travel, the constant threat of a project change, the need to be a jack-of-all-trades or the world expert on one topic, the difficulty maintaining relationships with non-consultant friends and working to death for a company you hold no allegiances to. There is a bond of survival; a brother and sisterhood between consultants that few experience. Although no longer a part of the consulting inner circle, I will always carry with me the important lessons I learned in my 7 years as a Management and IT Consultant.
The top ten things I learned being a consultant:

Fake it ‘till you make it: On any given day, a consultant can be thrown into a new situation, asked to deliver something they have never done before, turn it around in record time and ensure it is worthy of awards and accolades; all while making the client think you are the resident expert. It is amazing how much you can learn when in a pressure cooker environment and how that ability translates into every aspect of life.

Solo adventure: There are times when you are surrounded by people, working late with a team, going out to dinner, enjoying a very social environment with work friends and acquaintances. More often than not, the life of a traveling consultant is very solitary. Many nights are spent at work late because there is no place else to go or ordering room service to avoid the stares a person sitting alone inevitably gets at restaurants. To truly survive the lonely nights, it becomes necessary to learn how to eat alone at a restaurant, belly up at a bar by yourself, or see a movie or ballgame without friends. Prior to consulting, I lived in a dorm and before that, I lived at home with my parents, two sisters, 3 dogs and revolving door of friends and family. Alone was a foreign concept. After years of solo dining, drinking and vacationing, I now crave alone time when unable to get it.

Nevereverlost… again: When it is possible to wake up in a new city each day, it is important to get your bearings fast. While the modern traveler relies on a GPS system, those of us “old-school” travelers had to prepare for new cities with pre-printed directions. Since those were often forgotten on the printer or misplaced, relying on the ability to read signs, maps, stars and traffic patters would inevitably get you to the right spot… eventually. Moments of personal misplacement led to incredible lessons in US geography… after a while, you can figure out a city in no time.

The Latest and Greatest: To use a buzzphrase, consultants are expected to be on the “bleeding edge” of technology. Whatever the next thing is in programming language, software, computer equipment and phones, consultants are expected to know it. Being ahead of the technology curve is much more lucrative than any other career choice I had with a political science degree.

One roller bag and a laptop: Checking luggage is more painful than a root canal, especially when repeated weekly. To avoid wearing the same outfit for 3 straight days or needing to replace a missing wardrobe, it is necessary to pack everything needed for a week in cabin approved luggage. True veterans of travel can employ the same light packing techniques in any travel situation. Non-trained eyes sneer at these roller bags in disgust wondering why they are not checked, travel professionals know one bag is all the person has in the world for a week of work.

Airport Aerobics: Moving the one roller bag and a laptop through the airport is a skill in and of itself. The workout is like aerobics, but the beauty is like rhythmic gymnastics with a bag rather than ribbons and balls. The way a business traveler dances through security, weaves in and out crowds of people and levitates luggage into the overhead compartment all while carrying a cup of starbucks and a newspaper is nothing short of artistic.

How to order wine (and scotch): I started consulting right out of college. The extent of my wine knowledge revolved around the fruity flavors of Boones and I related scotch to old curmudgeons at a country club. With entertaining clients and dining with partners on a regular basis, it became apparent that wine and scotch was another area where an expertise needed development. I started understanding vintages, grapes, regions and casks to ensure I never messed up an order. When a glass was presented, I knew how to swirl, sniff and taste; when a bottle stayed or got sent back. If a study were done on the concentration of wine snobs in their early to mid-twenties, the consulting industry would lead the pack.

Don’t sweat the small stuff: In work, as in life, there is always too much to do. The key to surviving a world where to-do lists only get longer and it is impossible to get everything done is triaging priorities. This lesson is one that continues to let me maintain a social life; understanding what has to get done and what tasks get killed because no one will remember they asked you to do it in a few days.

It’s who you know AND what you know: The old adage of “it’s not what you know, is who you know” is only half right. It is definitely who you know, and maintaining employment in an industry that focuses on billable hours as much as law requires a full address book of contacts ready to help you find your next project. However, all the business cards in the world mean nothing if you are totally incapable of getting the job done. Any good leader will tell you that the number one secret to their success is surrounding themselves by good people.

It’s a Small World After All: Whether in Shamburg, Illinois or Luxembourg City, the most important thing to learn working in different cities around the world, in varying industries and diverse departments is how alike we all are at the very core. Cultures are different, job responsibilities vary, but we are all inherently looking for the same things in life; a stable income, a strong family, love and friendship. Going into every situation understanding the similarities we all share is key to developing long lasting bonds with people in all walks of life.

A single night is ruined

A crowd is gathered at the bar as I enter; drinking and laughing. My attempt to approach the group and join the conversation falls flat; they all work together and have no need to engage in conversation with a stranger. I order a drink and slink off to a corner, looking out over the crowd, desperately looking for a familiar face, determining if I would welcome the company of someone I know or if that defeats the whole purpose of coming. Of course, sitting in the corner by myself accomplishes nothing as well. Gathering courage, I beeline straight for the hors d'oeuvres.

Some people make the skill of holding a drink and eating from a plate of finger foods while standing look so easy, while others, like me, are one mozzarella stick away from making a mess all over their outfit. Approaching a high table where two gentlemen are engaged in conversation, I ask if I can use part of their table so I can have a bite to eat. They agree and the three of us chit chat, meaningless small-talk about what we do for a living and what we are doing there. Quickly, it becomes apparent that I am not what either of them are looking for as I polish off my plate and politely excuse myself.

Rejection is easier to handle with another drink, and soon I am alone at the bar, chatting with the bartender with much more ease then any of the professionals in the room; those same people who are here for the sole purpose of meeting other professionals. Soon realizing the bartender is just a master of idle conversation doing his job, I tip him nicely for taking the time to talk with me. Spotting a man in the corner, I sense a connection, an ally in this painful process of meeting someone special. We exchange glances and I get the nerve up to approach him. We talk about our day, our jobs, our goals and dreams. Eureka, finally the big break, the very person I was searching for all night. After a long and deep conversation, numbers were exchanged and we promise to keep in touch. We part ways, and I decide it is time to leave, marking a perfect end to the evening.

Just as I was about to make a bee-line to the door, an older man approaches. He follows a methodical script, one he probably uses on every woman he meets at these things. I pretend to be interested in his conversation, in his company; laughing and joking like friends. He smells my vulnerability, feasts on it like I was prey, and goes in for the kill. His intentions for the evening are not professional, flattered yet disgusted, I thank him for his interest and make my move, grabbing a cookie and a beer for the road.

This is not happy hour at a bar or a singles event. This is a scene from an evening event at a business conference, which is unarguably more uncomfortable then any pick up joint on the planet. Rather then finding a date, you are out networking, trying to find the next big sale or a means of climbing to the next rung of the corporate ladder. This conference setup gets increasingly difficult the longer I am married; it takes the same skills employed to pick up a person in a singles bar as it does to pick up a business card. Every time I think of changing careers and going into sales, a conference reminds me of how miserable life would be attending these meet-market events weeks after week.

All Work and No Play Makes Co-Workers Very Dull

Working in a corporate environment that fosters competition between the masses has created a culture of individuals who adhere to an all work and no play policy. It is commonplace to hear bragging in conference rooms or the proverbial water cooler about how many hours people worked during the week, or over the weekend, or on a holiday. At the end of the year, it is amazing how many people boast about how much vacation time they are going to lose because they were too busy to take it. What shocks me most is the attitude around these conversations. They are not angry at having to work so hard, they are not upset at the amount of time spent at work rather then with those they love, instead, they are proud that they have given work the ultimate sacrifice; their time.

Time is a precious commodity. It is important to remember that how we spend our time defines who we are. Those who spend all of their time working essentially are their jobs. Who they are, how they characterize themselves, their definition of self-worth are directly correlated to what they do for a living. Risking sounding cliché, they don’t realize there is a distinction between what you do for a living and what you do for a life; ultimately, they have no life.

There is a profound difference between cultures on how they perceive work. Working overseas provided me the unique opportunity to learn this lesson years ago. My team tried to work later then 6:00 one evening in Luxembourg, a time that would be considered within the normal working day in the United States. We were asked to leave the building by the site director. He explained to us that Americans live to work, and Europeans work to live. While we were at his site working in his country, we would have to adopt the work to live philosophy. So, every evening we left work and enjoyed the beauty that is Luxembourg. I recall very little of the work I actually did in Luxembourg, but the city and its beautiful citizens will always have a special place in my heart. It was an important lesson to learn; it is easy to forget details of some job or project, but you will always remember amazing people and experiences.

It would be naïve to think everyone can just take on this attitude and survive in today’s workplace. Far too many people perceive those who dedicate their whole life to a job as the most committed and productive employees, and those who seek a work/life balance as less dedicated to the success of the organization. What has this produced? Really boring people at the top of the corporate ladder; people who are so one-dimensional that they are unable to talk about anything but work, who neglect the social and personal needs of their friends and family, and who are admired for how hard they work and not who they are. Executives and wanna-be executives who have few real life experiences to pull new ideas and concepts from, everything they do know about the world is from their B-school text books.

With the high-pressure, high-stakes world of U.S. business, a person who has balance, who puts their family and friends on top, and who takes their vacation time, will probably never move to the top of a major corporate organization. For those willing to make the ultimate sacrifice to move ahead, I say go for it. I might never achieve my childhood dreams of being a CEO or President, but those other dreams around having fun and seeing the world are much more important.

Non-Essential Worker

Today was one of those days I truly appreciate being a high-tech professional. Waking up this morning, seeing 6 inches of snow on the ground, knowing that was just the beginning of what was going to be a very long and sloppy day, I decided to work from home. I don’t do blizzards.

I often take for granted what a luxury being able to declare “I’m not driving in this crap so I’ll work from home” is, but I got a major reminder today. Time on my couch was interrupted by the realization that I was required to conduct a job interview at the office. On my way in, I witnessed several accidents during my 5 mile, 45 minute drive into the office. The 1 hour drive back home was just the reminder I needed on how lucky I am to work from my house when the weather is bad, or I am running a fever, or when the dogs are suffering from diarrhea.

Many companies are allowing their employees the opportunity to work from home if the job permits, even if only on occasion. This is a practice I deeply commend. There are so many benefits to this if managed well, higher productivity and employee retention just to name a few. There are also times when giving employees this choice lends itself to the greater good of the community. Tomorrow, as the upper mid-west digs out of snow and many southern states dig out of rubble, governments are asking non-essential workers to stay home. Non-essential basically equates to anyone whose job is not directly related to taking care of a human life. Doctors, nurses, firepersons, cops, hospital staff, caretakers, etc. This allows the plows and other rescue crews to do their jobs by clearing up the roads. As difficult as it is for a type-A, competitive, egotistical person to admit, I am non-essential. However, it is really not that difficult to use that as an excuse for taking another snowday to work in my pajamas.

Equal Pay for Equal Output

To all those women shun feminism and its ideals, who think they are treated equally with men, who see the philosophies of the National Organization for Women as extreme and the fight for Equal Rights Amendment as unnecessary, this week’s announcement from Wimbledon is a reminder of how far we still have to go.

Much fanfare occurred this week with the announcement that female tennis players would now receive the same prize money as their male counterparts in the tournament. I don’t want to belittle the historic nature of this decision; this is a monumental milestone in women’s sports. What softens the excitement around this achievement is how long it took to materialize. Over 30 years after Billie Jean King beat Bobby Riggs in the battle of the sexes, women will finally be making the same as men in Tennis’ most prestigious tournament.

The promoters of Wimbledon maintained the position for generations that the difference in prize money between men and women players was a matter of principle; Men play 5 set matches and Women play 3 sets. The time worked was actually not equal and therefore, there should be a difference in pay. This might seem logical on the surface, but there is a key flaw in this reasoning. While some monetary compensation is given around hours worked, there are also other factors that determine how much pay is deserved.

When measuring the worth of athletes, time spent playing means little to nothing in determining compensation. If that were the case, the pay scale in the NBA and WNBA would be equal and Football players with their 16 game season would make much less then those in baseball. Women in the WNBA do not make as much as their male counterparts because their work does not bring in the same revenue stream, although they play the same 4 quarters. Players in the NFL make as much if not more for their 16 games as baseball players do for their 162 games because of their revenue potential. Tennis is one sport where women have proven their worth in drawing crowds and contributing to the overall popularity of the game and they should share equally in the revenue generated by this success.

The battle for equal pay at Wimbledon had the support of millions and received countless hours of media attention yet still took decades to come to pass. The average woman doesn’t have that kind of support and interest in their quest to receive the same pay as men in their same jobs. Inequality in pay exists for women in a wide variety of positions and industries across the globe. Women have won another battle in their quest for financial equality, but they haven't won the war.