Tuesday, May 29, 2007

Wedding Season Advice

A few years ago, I was interviewed for an article on "Professional Brides" (definition: brides with professional jobs, not brides with multiple weddings under their belt). The final question of the interview was: "What advice would you give a bride/ groom-to-be?" As the June wedding season approaches, I wanted to share my "expert" advise.
  • First Read “What Nobody Tells the Bride” by Marg Stark.
  • Don’t skimp on the ceremony. Put thought into it. That’s what the day is really about.
  • Pick your battles. Agreeing to wear a veil for a few hours meant so much to my mom that she did not flip out about me taking photos with my fiancee before our actual ceremony.
  • Finish your photos before your ceremony. Do the special moment of seeing each other then. Why waste precious fun time with family and friends to spend your first hour (or two) as husband and wife with your photographer.
  • Spend your money on food, booze and music. That’s really what people remember years after you say I Do.
  • Everything leading up to the wedding is exhausting. Every bride I have talked to has slept for 4 straight days after the wedding. Have a relaxing honeymoon. A city a day in Europe is not a way to unwind after the wedding.
  • Take a honeymoon. Even if it is local. You'll need the rest and the time together to bask in the marriage afterglow.
  • Visit theknot.com chat room. You will make friends with “knotties” who are more like you while realizing how many crazy, insane people are out there getting married.
  • Hire a photographer and videographer. Get toasting glasses engraved. Have a photo frame for people to sign. Have your bouquet freeze-dried. The day goes by so quickly, all these items of the day are what you have to remember the day forever.
  • Remember these words “All you need is a bride, a groom, a minister (or judge) a license and two witnesses to get married. There is a difference between getting married and having a wedding. People say they can’t afford to get married. Anyone with $30 can afford to get married, it’s the wedding that is expensive.
  • Make the day yours. Each couple is unique, bring that uniqueness to the day.
  • Don’t make the day so unique that your guests moan and groan and leave early.
  • Don't ignore every cheesy tradition, traditions are what people remember long after the day is over.
  • Assign people important tasks the day of the wedding, you won’t remember anything. People feel bad making their friends the “guestbook attendant” but guess what, no guestbook attendant, no signed guestbook. No rice hander-outers, no rice.
  • Don't assign people things that won't make them feel special.
  • Don’t get so wrapped up in planning the wedding that you forget there is a marriage afterwards. If you ask most people who are divorced within a few years of getting married, they will all tell you they saw signs before the wedding but were far too focused on planning the wedding to give their feelings much thought.
  • Most people don’t have sex on their wedding night because they are too tired. A good way to prevent this tragedy from clouding your wedding night is to forgo sex for a few months before your wedding. Guaranteed, you'll be climbing the walls.
  • Don't sweat the small stuff... you will be the only one who notices if the flowers are the wrong shade or the napkins are folded wrong.
  • Stand back on your wedding day and take it all in.
  • Have fun!

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