Guilty Pleasures

A new season of Dancing with the Stars begins tonight, and I’m a bit embarrassed to admit just how excited I am for the season premier. Dancing with the Stars is one of my many guilty pleasures. A guilty pleasure is essentially something a person takes pleasure in or enjoys with feelings of embarrassment or shame. Depending on who you are, where you come from and what friends you have determines what a guilty pleasure is. A person from LA with size zero friends might hide their love of fast food while someone from Chicago might feel horrible that they like New York style pizza.

Everyone has guilty pleasures, although some keep these from their friends and family to hide their humiliation. In the essence of full disclosure of who I am, it is time for me to come out of the proverbial closet and admit to some of my guilty pleasures.

Dancing with the Stars: I will watch this dreaming that I had moves that made me look magical on the dance floor, mesmerized how professional dancers can make amateurs look so good, fully knowing there is no professional on earth who could make me look like anything but one of those dancing hippos from Fantasia.

Karaoke: If my singing skills came anywhere near my skills in business process modeling and requirements gathering I would have been a star. Unfortunately, I sound like a truck driver who got into an unfortunate accident with a helium balloon. But when behind the mic singing the Divinyls "I Touch Myself" I can pretend I'm on top of the charts.

The Cutting Edge: Everyone has a movie they love and are embarrassed to admit and I am no exception. A talented figure skater needs a partner. An injured hockey player just can't stay off the ice. They meet, they hate each other but they skate together anyway. They fall in love and win an Olympic medal. I cry every time.

Celebreality: I am anti-reality shows… except for those dubbed celebreality. There is nothing real about throwing a dozen people on an island and making them do obstacle courses or sending teams on a world-wide scavenger hunt to see who makes it back to the US first. Reality is seeing what a wuss Hulk Hogan is with his family. Going beyond celebrities, The Real Housewives of Orange County and Dr. 90210 are also more real and more entertaining then any of the scripted reality shows. Seeing these stars and rich people being stupid makes me feel better about myself. There, I said it.

Trashy Magazines: Us Weekly. People. Star. Hello! OK! Anything that gives me the dirt on who hates who and who’s not eating in Hollywood. I would like to think I am too high-brow and intellectual to care about Angelina’s latest adoption or Ashlee’s latest nose job, but I’m not. I’m so ashamed of this pleasure, I often hide trashy magazines in the middle of a Newsweek or National Geographic to give the appearance that I am transfixed on worthwhile news.

Asian Buffets: Chicken lo-mien sitting in grease over a hotplate. All the fried won-tons I can eat. Barbecue pork spare ribs coming out my ears. I love gorging at any good buffet, but there is something extra special about the risk of eating at an Asian buffet.

Black Eyed Peas and Hair Bands: Not the food, the music group. There is nothing I like running on the treadmill to more then “Pump It” or “My Humps.” Additionally, if Poison, Warrant or Motley Crue starts playing on the radio, I will start banging my head and thrashing my hair.

Hawaii: This one aligns with guilty pleasures being different depending on who your friends and acquaintances are. I would go to Hawaii every year, lounging on the beach, hopping on stage to show off my hula prowess and drinking Pine Coladas until I turn into coconut. This may sound exotic to most, but when your friends are people who surf in Bali, trek in Thailand, safari in South Africa, get massaged in the Maldives and sail the Mediterranean, Hawaii seems so mundane. But honestly, if you want to get away from it all, relax but not have to deal with challenges like language, monetary exchange and food poisoning that often plague exotic vacations, then go to Hawaii.

Dog Costumes: Okay, I guess I can’t be too embarrassed at this one since I dress up Luna and Solei quite often and share their photos with a greater part of the planet. However, I am aware of how the general populace feels about dog clothes and occasionally get a little quiet when someone makes a negative comment on dressing animals up. But frankly, I feel the same way about how people dress their kids up so the score is pretty even in my opinion.

I’m glad I finally got all that off my chest. I feel energized and liberated. Leave me a comment to confess your guilty pleasure… long term embarrassment is much more fun when shared with friends.