Thursday, March 29, 2007

Today's Terror Level is "Peeved"

A forward from my friend Jooli, a fellow Mary Washington Political Science survivor, who appreciates a good joke about world governments just as much as I do.

Heightened Threat Levels In Europe
An increase in recent terrorist threats has raised security levels all across Great Britain from "Miffed" to "Peeved." Soon, though, security levels may be raised yet again to "Irritated," or even "A Bit Cross." The British have not been "A Bit Cross" since the blitz in 1940 when tea supplies all but ran out. If threats continue to rise, levels may go to "Tiresome" or even a "Bloody Nuisance." The last time the British
issued a "Bloody Nuisance" warning level was during the great fire of 1666.

In a related move, the French government announced yesterday that it has also raised its terror alert level, moving from "Run" to "Hide." The only two higher levels in France are "Surrender" and "Collaborate." This rise was precipitated by a recent fire that destroyed France's white flag factory, effectively paralyzing the country's military capability.

And it's not only the English and French who have heightened their respective levels of alert. Italy has increased its alert level from "Shout Loudly and Excitedly," to "Elaborate Military Posturing." Two more levels remain for the Italians: "Ineffective Combat Operations" and "Change Sides."

Not to be outdone, the Germans also increased their alert state from "Disdainful Arrogance" to "Dress in Uniform and Sing Marching Songs." They too, have two higher levels: "Invade a Neighbor" and "Lose."

Belgians, on the other hand, are all on holiday as usual, and the only threat they are worried about is NATO pulling out of Brussels.

Meanwhile, the Spanish are quite excited about the deployment of their new fleet of submarines. These beautifully designed subs have glass bottoms so the new Spanish navy can get a really good look at the old Spanish navy.

No comments: