Friday, September 07, 2007

Calcium Suckers

My friends Kira, Julie and I used to joke about the 1,567,601 reasons why we were not having children. While we never officially penned all the reasons, there was one thing that was for certain; pregnancy and all its "wonders" accounted for over 500,000 of those reasons. Not among those who celebrate the miracle of pregnancy and birth, we found the very concept of carrying then bearing a child rather repulsive. Even those who exalt the “beauty” of pregnancy must agree that certain aspects, like weight gain and the pain of childbirth, are not very beautiful. One major reason pregnancy makes the top of my reasons to forgo having children is how I view unborn fetuses. Offensive to some, shocking to others, I see unborn children as nothing more then parasites.

Pronunciation: 'per-&-"sIt
1 : a person who exploits the hospitality of the rich and earns welcome by flattery
2 : an organism living in, with, or on another organism in parasitism
3 : something that resembles a biological parasite in dependence on something else for existence or support without making a useful or adequate return

If given a choice on the type of parasite I wanted living within me, I would choose a tapeworm well before a baby. At least tape worms help you lose weight. I could write more on my fetus = parasite philosophy, but luckily the nation's top satirical publication has already published a piece that brings a level of comedy to an unpopular position on pregnancy. A big thanks to the Onion for the following article article on Uterine Parasites.

Woman Overjoyed By Giant Uterine Parasite

The Onion

Woman Overjoyed By Giant Uterine Parasite

NEW BRIGHTON, MN— "I'm so happy!" Crowley said of the golf ball–sized, nutrient-sapping organism that will eventually require hospitalization in order to be removed.


Colleen U said...

I read this article in "The Onion" a few days ago and was just about to send it to you, but then saw you included it in your post. It was a good article. :)

Mom said...

Just be glad your Mother didn"t see you or your sisters as parasites.

Explosive Bombchelle said...

Most of the topics I will cover in my childfree writings will have my mother, and most mothers, saying "well aren’t' you lucky your mother didn't feel that way." It is the same argument that anti-abortionists use. I am not looking of offend mothers (especially my own) I am looking to honestly share my reasons for not having children as a way to communicate to a broader audience the reasons people don’t' have children. Childfree people feel isolated in our society that defines family as those who have children and rarely discuss their decision and the reasons behind it. If we are openly able to discuss the pros and cons of having children and that it is okay to have those feelings maybe there will be fewer children suffering abuse and neglect at the hands of parents who didn’t really want them.

ShutterSparks said...

Well, a fetus IS a parasite, by every definition I know of. Not only that, it is a specialized parasite that knows exactly how to commandeer the woman's body and take what it needs. But that's how it has to be. Fortunately there are many women who feel the cost is worth it. My 27 year old daughter, who has a very high IQ, has four children. Despite the fact that she has a syndrome that causes her pelvis to unhinge and dislocate during pregnacy, which causes 24/7 extreme pain, she thinks pregnancy and having babies is the coolest thing ever. The only reason she is not having more is the economics of raising children. If she had more money, she'd gladly have more babies.

If it wasn't for women who are willing to do this, we would not be here discussing it.

husband said...

as I have mentioned (and so have you), anytime you show a different version of reality to someone (a life without children that isn't empty) it's threatening to many people. The fact that many people can't take a satirical look at the issue isn't surprising either (sadly). Having children just isn't something that is important to us... as strange as the seems to people who have children. There's nothing "wrong" with us as much as there is anything "wrong" with want to have as many kids as possible (even if you're pelvis dislocates... ok, maybe there is something a little wrong with that). :-D

Wade said...

i don't find people who chose not to have children threatening in any way. on the contrary, i think it's fantastic when people decide that. the world population is exploding, our resources are shrinking, and *more* kids certainly isn't going to make that any better. i love my kids-- i can't imagine my life without them-- but i'm never going to disparage people for making different choices with their life. it's unfortunate that anyone does that.