My friends Kira, Julie and I used to joke about the 1,567,601 reasons why we were not having children. While we never officially penned all the reasons, there was one thing that was for certain; pregnancy and all its "wonders" accounted for over 500,000 of those reasons. Not among those who celebrate the miracle of pregnancy and birth, we found the very concept of carrying then bearing a child rather repulsive. Even those who exalt the “beauty” of pregnancy must agree that certain aspects, like weight gain and the pain of childbirth, are not very beautiful. One major reason pregnancy makes the top of my reasons to forgo having children is how I view unborn fetuses. Offensive to some, shocking to others, I see unborn children as nothing more then parasites.
1 : a person who exploits the hospitality of the rich and earns welcome by flattery
2 : an organism living in, with, or on another organism in parasitism
3 : something that resembles a biological parasite in dependence on something else for existence or support without making a useful or adequate return
If given a choice on the type of parasite I wanted living within me, I would choose a tapeworm well before a baby. At least tape worms help you lose weight. I could write more on my fetus = parasite philosophy, but luckily the nation's top satirical publication has already published a piece that brings a level of comedy to an unpopular position on pregnancy. A big thanks to the Onion for the following article article on Uterine Parasites.