A League of My Own

Today is the annual fantasy baseball draft hosted (mostly) in our living room. I say mostly as this year the decision was made to continue a live draft, bringing friends together for hours of unhealthy food and beer, but also including friends who no longer live locally through a teleconference and web-ex. It should be amusing especially since I am just an onlooker this year. While my unique drafting strategy is the source of great amusement in our league I realized my participation was nothing more then throwing $40 away each year; I do not have a routine or lifestyle that lends to daily roster checks and injury reports. My team, the Pabst Smears (formerly known as the Multiple Scoregasms), might not be playing but I still put together a fantasy lineup for everyone’s amusement. Using my long standing and legendary drafting strategy focusing on players with suggestive names yielded the following lineup for the 2008 MLB Fantasy season:

Starting Pitchers

• Randy Johnson
• R.A. Dickey
• Rich Harden
• Ben Sheets
• Matt Palmer
• Adam Eaton

Relief Pitchers

• Brian Slocum
• Mike Koplove
• Kazuo Fukumori

Catchers:

• Brad Ausmus
• Rod Barajas

First Base:

• Kyle Blanks
• Richie Sexson

Second Base:

• Scott Sizemore
• Freddy Sanchez

Shortstop:

• Matt Bush
• Jemel Spearman

Third Base:

• Brandon Wood
• Zelous Wheeler

Outfield

• Barry Bonds
• Chris Dickerson
• Quinton McCracken
• Rocco Baldelli
• Jarred Ball
• B.J. Upton

Rather then spending weeks pouring over the countless resources available to assist people with their fantasy draft this method saves time with the end of season results just about the same whether I prepared with stats and spreadsheets or used the juvenile corner of my mind that still giggles at things like sexual suggestive names. It is a much more objective methodology then trying to determine who looks better in their pants and after a few beverages even the gentlemen in the league can appreciate the humor of the suggestive name fantasy baseball draft strategy.