Saturday, March 22, 2008

A League of My Own

Today is the annual fantasy baseball draft hosted (mostly) in our living room. I say mostly as this year the decision was made to continue a live draft, bringing friends together for hours of unhealthy food and beer, but also including friends who no longer live locally through a teleconference and web-ex. It should be amusing especially since I am just an onlooker this year. While my unique drafting strategy is the source of great amusement in our league I realized my participation was nothing more then throwing $40 away each year; I do not have a routine or lifestyle that lends to daily roster checks and injury reports. My team, the Pabst Smears (formerly known as the Multiple Scoregasms), might not be playing but I still put together a fantasy lineup for everyone’s amusement. Using my long standing and legendary drafting strategy focusing on players with suggestive names yielded the following lineup for the 2008 MLB Fantasy season:

Starting Pitchers
  • Randy Johnson
  • R.A. Dickey
  • Rich Harden
  • Ben Sheets
  • Matt Palmer
  • Adam Eaton
Relief Pitchers
  • Brian Slocum
  • Mike Koplove
  • Kazuo Fukumori
  • Brad Ausmus
  • Rod Barajas
First Base:
  • Kyle Blanks
  • Richie Sexson
Second Base:
  • Scott Sizemore
  • Freddy Sanchez
  • Matt Bush
  • Jemel Spearman
Third Base:
  • Brandon Wood
  • Zelous Wheeler
  • Barry Bonds
  • Chris Dickerson
  • Quinton McCracken
  • Rocco Baldelli
  • Jarred Ball
  • B.J. Upton
Rather then spending weeks pouring over the countless resources available to assist people with their fantasy draft this method saves time with the end of season results just about the same whether I prepared with stats and spreadsheets or used the juvenile corner of my mind that still giggles at things like sexual suggestive names. It is a much more objective methodology then trying to determine who looks better in their pants and after a few beverages even the gentlemen in the league can appreciate the humor of the suggestive name fantasy baseball draft strategy.


Ronald said...

Tsk, so juvenile! (As I sit here giggling to myself...)

BTW... you've been tagged! See my blog for details. :)

drew said...

The webex thing is brilliant. I'm going to have to start incorporating that into major holidays like thanksgiving and christmas.

NeeNee said...

Couldn't you have a better team? You have a fun tactic, but there are only 2 Trombettas out of 3 that love baseball, so ya should know better.

I am already told by Met fans that there team is the best by far!!! You better come home, and we need to have plans for YANKEE STADIUM!!!

Nursedude said...

So did you get up early to root against the Red Sox in their game in Japan with the Athletics?

Explosive Bombchelle said...

Drew- I thought you were taking the "I don't celebrate holidays" route? If you do try the webex thing you might have to head to your family and do some tutorials first. Oh, and they probably need more then a dial-up connection!

Explosive Bombchelle said...

NeeNee- I was expecting you to point out the one big mess up I made in the draft. I neglected to pick-up Wang and will have to trade for him ;-)

I would never really do a fantasy team completely based on innuendo, however, it is a very fun tactic to use in the 20th - 25th round when no one good is available anyway.

And (not to make The Husband mad) he did research, had spreadsheet, played by the rules and 3/4 of his team landed on the disabled list this week proving my method just as good as anyone else’s!

husband said...

seriously... f-in' Escobar tells the world he may never pitch again two days after I draft him... a-hole!!!