Sunday, April 15, 2007

The Rite of Spring

Spring has sprung after a particularly cold and nasty winter and I couldn’t possibly feel worse. Cursing the snow and bitter cold from November through April is a favorite pastime; complaining about the weather is therapeutic. We count the days until spring when gray skies are lifted and sun beams shine upon the earth. Spring is nature’s re-awakening. God’s creatures emerge from a state of winter hibernation and suddenly squirrels are dancing in our yards, birds are chirping and dogs beg to be outside at all hours of the day. For many, this is a cause of celebration but unfortunately, I do not fall into this category. As much as winter is a long and loathsome season, the evils of Spring far outweigh the pain of winter.

Allergies: As flowers, leaves, weeds and grass make their yearly entrance into the world so do Zyrtec, Allegra and Claritin. First comes the low grade headache, then the itchy eyes, runny nose and then, the full blown sinus infection. While some people are allergic to rag weed or cut grass, I am allergic to Spring. Neglecting to take medicine can yield a waterfall of snot and misery that cannot be adequately described. Medicating the issue leaves gaps in memory, endless sleepiness, mood swings and dry mouth. The whole season is spent determining what is worse, the symptoms or the side-effects.

Spring Cleaning: This is no longer the monstrous task since outsourcing the care of my home in January; however, there are tasks that without a full-time housekeeper get neglected even with a cleaning service. Clearing items from refrigerator and freezer that are no longer recognizable, scrubbing out the refrigerator and freezer, clearing out all cabinets and drawers to dust and clean, dusting out book shelves, honestly assessing closets for donation opportunities, discovering what lies behind large appliances, power-washing the siding, emptying the garage to reorganize, and creating boxes filled with items for a Yard Sale that will never occur. Cleaning services rarely do windows either, luckily, that can be remedied yearly along with removing muddy paw prints from furniture with a swift phone call to a local handyman.

Yard Work: One of the major drawbacks of a large yard is what it takes to keep it beautiful. While never one to believe in gender roles, when it comes to our yard, this is my husband’s territory. If I were in charge, we would have a gang of men, preferably well built and wearing jeans and a smile, taking meticulous care of our grass. Unfortunately my husband, like many with a Y-chromosome, sees hiring a lawn service as some sort of admission of manly failure. While tasks like painting and dry-walling go undone, the yard is the primary focus of husbandly activities. There were battles of World War II that were more poorly planned then what lies ahead for our backyard this summer. This will not be a one man job, but since there is only one man living in the house, I will have to help.

Winter Insulation: With warm weather comes less clothing, less clothing means visible skin and long winters brings extra flesh. Nothing says spring is here quite like the realization that bathing suit season is around the corner and old man winter wasn’t kind to your rear-end. It is easy to hide under bulky sweaters, avoid exercise and pass on salads in the winter. As if fighting allergies was not enough to make one cranky in the Spring, the severe drop of calories consumed makes each day unbearable. There is no fury like a woman with sinusitis subsisting on a 1000 calorie a day diet.

Luckily, spring is a short season in these parts and soon summer will be upon us. Like the great Abraham Lincoln once said, “This too shall pass.” There is a beautiful light at the end of the tunnel, and it is called summer. Surviving winter and enduring spring is a brings an added appreciation of long nights, warm breezes, barbeques, daiquiris, volleyball, swimming and the boys of summer.

1 comment:

The Husband said...

I take exception to your entire Yard Work paragraph. I see hiring a lawn service as a waste of money. I do not have a desire to have the greenest lawn on the block without a single weed. Painting is your job, we've discussed this. Drywall is neither of our jobs, we can hire out for that. And I did last year's landscaping by myself, and this year's promises to be 99% easier. :-P