Monday, July 23, 2007

An Actual Useful Survey

After frequently responding to personal surveys via email and myspace, it dawned on me that these personal assessments could actually be tools useful beyond understanding what we are wearing and what is under our beds. We all think we know our friends and family very well, but then something happens that raises question on the closeness of our bonds. Recently, I found myself at the front of the line at a bagel shop with no clue what my sister’s favorite bagel was. I felt horrible; how could I not know whether she liked salt or poppy? To assure that no one goes through the same heart-wrenching moment, the following list of questions are really useful to understanding your friends and family at a time it really counts; when you are out grabbing them something to eat or drink and they didn’t tell you exactly what they wanted. Change this survey up to better serve the restaurants in your area and memorize the answers you get from your friends and family; they will come in handy someday. These are things everyone should know about those they care about...

How do you take your…?

  • Coffee: Large and Black
  • Eggs: Over Easy
  • Bacon: Underdone and fatty
  • Toast: Medium Brown, unbuttered
  • Choice of Breakfast Potato: Hash Browns, Crispy, with cheese and/or onions if available
  • Choice of Breakfast Meat: Sausage Pattie
  • Choice of Breakfast Bread: English Muffin
  • Choice of Dinner Potato: French Fries or Fully Loaded Baked Potato... never the rice.
  • Choice of Vegetable: Anything but Cauliflower
  • Steak: Black and Blue, aka Pittsburgh style, if I can get it… but usually medium rare.
  • Salad: With Spinach Leaves, No Hard Boiled Eggs, No Orange Dressings or Italian
  • Hot Dog: Well done with Ketchup
  • Hamburger: Medium Rare with Ketchup and pickles
  • Pizza: Italian Sausage and Mushrooms or Pepperoni and Mushrooms
  • Buffalo Wings: Spicy Garlic at Buffalo Wild Wings. 3 Mile Island at Hooters. Usually hot unless it is one of those places where the hottest level of wings removes skin from your palate.
  • Bagel: Everything, not toasted, regular cream cheese Hot Pretzel: Salt, no mustard
  • Nachos: Super with Chicken and extra jalapenos, guacamole on the side.

What do you order at...?

  • A Bar: An Irish or Wisconsin Brew
  • A Bar and Grille: Buffalo Wings and an Irish or Wisconsin Brew
  • A Wine Bar: Dry, Spicy Red; prefer Red Zins
  • A Deli: Turkey and Pepperoni on a Kaiser Roll with lettuce, tomato and pickles
  • BBQ Restaurant: ½ Rack of Ribs
  • Chinese Restaurant: House Special Lo Mein
  • Greek Restaurant: Lamb Pizza
  • Indian Restaurant: Water
  • Italian Restaurant: Penne ala Vodka or Eggplant Parmesan
  • Mexican Restaurant: Chicken or Beef Flautas
  • Seafood Restaurant: Grilled or Broiled Scallops or Tuna Steak
  • Sushi Restaurant: Spicy Tuna
  • Thai Restaurant: Shrimp Pad Thai
  • 7-11: Cherry or Grape Slurpee
  • Baskin Robbins: Anything with caramel or coconut
  • Benihana: Scallops Teppanyaki with fried rice
  • Boston Market: ¼ White meat chicken, mashed potatoes, creamed spinach and green bean casserole.
  • Burger King: Chicken Tenders
  • Caribou Coffee: Large, Non-Fat Caramel Highrise
  • Carvel Ice Cream: Pistachio with Pineapple
  • Cheesecake Factory: Godiva Chocolate Cheesecake; Grilled Vegetable Sandwich
  • Chick-filet: Never Been
  • Cinnabon: Cinnamon Roll
  • Cold-Stone Creamery: Love It Cake Batter Ice Cream with Caramel, Colored Sprinkles and Yellow Cake in a Chocolate Sprinkle Dipped Waffle Cone
  • DQ: Medium Caramel and Waffle Cone blizzard or Cherry Dipped Cone
  • Dunkin Donuts: Reduced Fat Blueberry muffin or Chocolate Donut and Black Coffee.
  • Hardees or Arby's: Curly Fries
  • Kentucky Fried Chicken: Extra Crispy Chicken Breast and Mashed Potatoes with Gravy.
  • Long John Silver: Fish and Chips
  • McDonalds: Quarter Pounder with Cheese, no mustard
  • Mrs. Fields: Chocolate Chip or M&M Double Doozie
  • Noodles & Company: Asian Salad with grilled Shrimp
  • Panera: Asian Chicken
  • Salad Salad Works: Make Your Own with Spinach, Tomatos, Mushrooms, Broccoli, Cucumber and Croutons with Fat Free Sundried Tomato dressing
  • Starbucks: Venti Sugar Free Caramel Non-Fat Extra Hot Latte
  • Subway: 6 inch Turkey on wheat, no cheese, no sauce, lettuce, tomatoes, banana peppers and pickles.
  • Taco Bell: Bottled Water
  • Wendys: Biggie Fries and a Vanilla Frosty or a Biggie Chili in the winter
  • White Castle: 4 Sliders with Onion Rings and a Vanilla shake (only when drunk)

I'll Never Touch...

  • Veal
  • Cod
  • Curry
  • Anything with Nutri-Sweet (I'm allergic)
  • Bud Products
  • Pink Wine

If you have any more ideas, or would like to share your own useful answers, leave me a comment!


husband said...

while I knew most, I did not know all of those... just goes to show that after knowing each other for 10 years, there's so much more to learn! (awwwww.....)

Steve said...

What! No Curry! Say it ain't so! Actually, it's interesting to see what people won't eat. I don't do Brussel Sprouts, Tuna Helper, raw oysters and whole tomatos(although Spaghetti sauce and ketchup are OK)I don't do veal anymore...I like the tast, I just hate how they treat the calves to be able to make them so tender.

Explosive Bombchelle said...

husband... this is mostly about going out and not picking up something that causes the "god, do you not know me after all these years... I hate blah, blah, blah..." I think we're at the point you wouldn't pick me up curry, but god help you if you brought me home a cinnamon raisin bagel instead of an everything!

And Steve... me thinks I'll be adding Tuna Helper to that list... it was blocked out like a painful memory.