Pick on Someone Your Own Age

It would be unfair to critique how the ladies of 1975 are aging and ignore the gentlemen born in the Year of the Rabbit. It is well documented that as men age they become more distinguished whereas women just get old. I don’t know if one can be distinguished by 32 or 33 years old, however I do know that many of the gentlemen from 1975 are fine specimens of human being; guess that’s why I ended up marrying someone born the same as me!

Besides analyzing looks, it is difficult to ignore the caliber of Hollywood talent the women of 1975 control. Hollywood powerhouses like Charlize Theron, Kate Winslet, and Drew Barrymore win awards and box office dollars. The men of 1975 are less influential in the movies, but certainly dominate ESPN headlines.

Chris Moneymaker: Made famous by the rage of televising poker on cable, this World Series of Poker phenomenon has obviously taken advantage of the free booze and food provided in Vegas to high rollers. On a good day I would guess he’s in his forties, but that’s an insult to all those people in their forties who look years younger than him (and that’s a lot of people). You think staying in the sunless, oxygen controlled environment of a casino would help, but he’s the poster child for avoiding booze, smoke, stress, and buffets.

Alan Iverson: He’s aged poorly and looks so terrible that blogger wouldn’t let me upload the photo. No joke. Go to this weblink to see how all the money in the world can’t counteract aging.

David Ortiz: Maybe he should have stayed in Minnesota where the air is clear, pure, and crisp, but “Big Papi” looks old enough to be my papi.

Matt Hasslebeck: Normally I love bald men, but this Seattle Seahawks Quarterback should consider some sexy facial hair to balance his cue ball cranium. He looks older, but any man whose brother (editor's note: I apologize for originally mixing Tim and Matt Hasslebeck up) married the no-talent, whiny, unintelligent, air-headed blonde Elizabeth Hasselbeck is going to age exorbitantly faster then the rest of the population.

Jamie Oliver: Britain’s celebrity chef, also known as “The Naked Chef,” has lost some of his boyish good looks with age but still looks smashingly young. Perhaps his fountain of youth is found in his commitment to eating fresh, organic meals; I could only hope.

Enrique Iglesias: This singer of Latin and Pop ballads looks about his age, which is a little disappointing as he was hot like fire in the late 90s and early this decade. His signature mole had to be removed due to a skin cancer scare, and he lost a little of his signature style losing the mole. Of course, he could age all he wants and lose half of his face and still be the envy of men worldwide because of his longtime relationship with tennis player Anna Kournikova.

Casey Affleck: Ben’s younger brother, although not as well known, is fast becoming one of the most sought after, respected young men in Hollywood. He looks young now, but with how quickly his brother suddenly started to age is family history going to repeat itself?

Alex Rodriguez: A-rod made many women nationwide pay a little more attention to the national pastime. Early in his career there was no one in sports better looking then this baseball slugger. Playing for the Yankees, with all the media attention, pressure, and sacrifice of personal life that accompanies playing in New York, is aging this poster boy.

Michael Buble: I always thought this baby faced big bang singer was younger due to reviews exclaiming how rare it is for someone so young to have such a mature singing voice.

Tobey Maguire: Spiderman appears much younger than his age of 33; perhaps that spider bite is also the fountain of youth.

Zach Braff: Geeks often age slowly and this actor from Scrubs and Garden State is no exception. His role on Scrubs as an insecure, goofball doctor makes him appear even younger.

Tiki Barber: The former NY Football Giants star and now NFL commentator is hot like fire with a smile that could light the top of the Chrysler Building. I cannot judge whether Tiki looks older or younger because I knew before researching he was the same age as me. We were both seniors in college in 1997 when he and his brother got a photo shoot with the Governor of Virginia… and I was a lowly intern getting them water.

David Beckham: It is a real shame this international soccer superstar is married to such a scary, botoxed Spice Girl; there are so many women more deserving of Becks. First and foremost, soccer players rank very high in the “best athletic body” competition. Then there are the dimples. Unfortunately, David Beckham is a prime example of the early wrinkling that can happen with too much sun exposure. Wear sunscreen on the futbol field Becks!

Tiger Woods: Unarguably one of the best golfers of all time, Tiger Woods is blessed with amazing genes that allow him to spend way too much time in the sun and still look amazingly young. The only reason to think he’s older than his current age of 32 (he’ll be 33 in December) is his amazing success and longevity in the spotlight.

Balloon Legislation a Big Bust

Happy Birthday, Get Well Soon, Congratulations, Over the Hill, Farewell, Happy New Year, and I Love You; all simple well wishes. But like the band Extreme says, sometimes we want, we need, more than words. We each need to see how much we are loved and appreciated; and nothing transforms simple words into displays of affection quite like a shiny Mylar balloons. Whether they float high above an office cube alerting coworkers of an important birthday or as the exclamation point declaring the purpose of an otherwise mundane bouquet of flowers, a single Mylar balloon can send a deeper and longer lasting message than other methods of occasion communication. A law proposed in California aimed at banning the use of Mylar balloons might help the environment, but how much would we lose in exchange for Mylar-free landfills?

California is often the frontrunner in environmental laws, so a law here would soon trickle and affect the rest of the country. First California will lead the charge banning Mylar balloons for electrical safety (if someone electrocutes themselves with a foil balloon we should thank Darwin)and environmental concerns, then legislation will certainly balloon out of control (pardon the pun), leading to a ban on all balloons. What a travesty! Balloons are as American as baseball and apple pie. Banning balloons is like banning turkey at Thanksgiving. Can you imagine birthday party, a circus, a trip to Disneyland without balloons? The landscape of Main Street USA just wouldn’t be the same without bursts of color flying high above a “cast member” defying the laws of physics, somehow remaining grounded despite a fist full of helium filled Mickey Mouse ear balloons. Latex balloons are already banned in most hospitals nationwide, ban Mylar and fewer people will gain the therapeutic benefits associated with a get well soon message.

It is estimated that the sale of foil balloons generate $100 million in sales each year in California alone. Add the add-ons that come with Mylar balloons; flowers, cookies, pretty little weights, and suddenly foil balloons generate $900 million in California sales. Opponents to the balloon legislation argue that the banning these balloons will cost jobs and tax revenue for the state. Ban balloons and the balloon guy at Disneyland will lose his job; someone has to protect the balloon guy’s career!

Balloons help us learn valuable life lessons from a very early age. We begin to understand disappointment when the balloon we begged our parents for floats away due to our own carelessness. We learn the importance of holding on to something tight when it is important to us; never let go of the things we love. We combat stage fright and fear of public speaking by sucking in helium and singing “Lollipop Guild” from The Wizard of Oz in front of all our friends. Tying the ribbon with a square knot around our wrists is the first step in earning scout badges, an early lesson of how to tie stuff to the top of our cars, and if we are lucky, priceless in the bedroom.

I am happy to report that foil balloon supporters and opponents reached a compromise in their fight, but it is important to remain vigilant in protecting our fundamental right to say it with helium. People who oppose the sale of helium balloons are not environmentalists; they are communists who threaten the very fabric of our culture. Save the balloons.

Don't be a Butthead

Dear Inconsiderate Smoker,

I try not to be judgmental regarding your decision to poison yourself and all those who share airspace with you; hey it’s your life you’re gambling with. What infuriates me is when your nasty little habit infringes upon the world around me. With more and more places going smoke-free, I am now able to avoid the hacking, wheezing and nasty stench that goes along with your toxic second hand smoke; however there is one thing that keeps bothering me, why do you think it is okay to toss your cigarette butts out your car window or onto the sidewalk?

Not every smoker engages in littering the streets with their cigarette butts and to those smokers who keep their butts to themselves I offer a thank you. Those who use the world outside their car window as an ashtray are nothing but selfish, nasty, inconsiderate citizens of our planet. Do you think tossing a cigarette butt is any different than any other type of littering? Your cigarette butts are just as much litter as any fast food wrapper, soft drink cup, or snotty tissue you could toss out of your car. Even smokers’ rights groups advocate proper disposal of cigarette butts and encourage people to abide by litter laws; stop giving non-smokers more reasons to put further restrictions and taxes upon smokers. Perhaps you are just the type of person who thinks the world is your trash can and think nothing wrong of throwing stuff out in places not designated for your garbage. If there is any justice in this world you will be on the receiving end of a hefty fine and will be assigned trash collection duties in your afterlife.

What harm do your cigarette butts do? For starters, filters are not biodegradable and the trillion or so that are thrown into the environment every year cause a whole host of issues. The beauty of beaches, forests, lakes, mountains and streams are ruined by the eyesore of cigarette related trash. It is estimated that 80% of the world's litter is cigarette butt and package related.

These butts sicken and kill countless animals both on land and in the sea; choked or poisoned. Not only do these butts poison wildlife, they poison each of us as tar, nicotine, arsenic, acetone, mercury and lead enter our water supply. Cigarette butts build up and clog storm drains, causing floods and water damage.

Google “cigarette forest fire” and see the hundreds upon hundreds of articles on fires caused by cigarette litter. These fires cause massive forest damage, property damage and even death. Next time you toss a smoldering cigarette out your window think of the people it might burn to death, maybe then you’ll think twice about inflicting harm on the world.

If you do choose to continue littering with your cigarettes please consider using filterless cigarettes; they are completely biodegradable and as an added bonus to those of us you share the world with you’ll probably have fewer years to litter the earth. For the next person who tosses a butt out their car in front of me, your fiery ash hitting the hood of my vehicle, I will take one for the collective world team and run you off the side of the road and shove the smoldering butt down your throat. Consider yourself warned.

Sincerely,
The Explosive Bombchelle

Walk This Way

People that don’t know how to walk are quickly becoming the source of my biggest pet peeve. This is not a horribly insensitive shot at the physically challenged; these sentiments are reserved for those who can physically move one foot in front of the other but somehow lack the mental capacity to walk without wreaking havoc on everyone around them. Countless people seem to have an inability to navigate in public places and the number of individuals affected by this social disorder is either on the rise or my sensitivity to the stupidity is at its breaking point. Everywhere I go I feel inundated with hundreds of people who clearly think they own the sidewalk.

Stop in the Name of Love: The most dangerous habit shared by the socially inept walker is their susceptibility to stop without warning. Large crowds are moving along like a well choreographed dance production and suddenly one person throws off the entire routine, stopping in their tracks and sending everyone else tumbling. Adding to the annoyance of these sudden and frequent stops are the dangerous places these walking challenged individuals decide to put on the brakes, and the worst offenders are often found at the top of escalators motionless, clueless to the throngs of people about to fall like dominos behind them.

Long and Winding Road: Walking without purpose or intent is great for a leisurely walk on the beach but is a recipe for disaster in most other situations. Mapping the path of people who walk without direction looks much like something from the comic Family Circus when Billy’s route from point A to point B resembled a ball a twine more than a straight line. These people bob and weave without knowledge or cares of the number of people they cut across, run into and just otherwise annoy. While installing a blinker system on their asses could potentially help oncoming traffic better understand which direction they will go next, but in all honesty these are probably the same people who neglect to use their turn signal when driving anyway.

Never Stray too far from the Sidewalk: Pedestrians often forget they are sharing paths with people using modes of transportation other than their feet. When walking on mixed use paths it is important to remember some basic rules of acceleration and deceleration from mechanical physics. Just as a car cannot stop on a dime due to factors like speed, mass, and brake technology; neither can a bicycle or skate. So if someone moving at a fast speed with badly designed brakes, as are often found on bikes and rollerblades, on a mixed use path yells “On your left!” or “Watch out” and a pedestrian is stupid enough to get in the way, they deserve to be plowed over.

Pass the Dutchie on the Left Hand Side: Just like with driving, it is common courtesy for slow traffic to stick to the right lane and faster traffic to pass on the left. The only time this basic common sense rule should be ignored is when walking in a country that drives on the left (or wrong) hand side of the road to which the tenets of passing politeness should be reversed.

The Wall: Brainless walkers travel in packs like wolves and are able to combine forces inflicting greater impact with their thoughtless actions. These packs can often be found taking up entire sidewalks, hallways and paths, causing anger and frustration to those attempting to pass. Some popular places these packs strategically obstruct are stairwells, hallways, and doorways. Those traveling without their pack can overcome their lack of numbers with simple props like a bicycle or triple-wide stroller.

Parents Just Don’t Understand: Children are often the victims of their parents’ inability to teach them the rules of the sidewalk. There is a time and a place for children to run around without structure and direction but the local mall, bike path, or restaurant does not qualify. If a child gets hurt by someone because they got in the way a parent has no right to be indignant and angry at anyone but the person who is responsible for protecting their safety; themselves.

We are all guilty of walking offenses, but when most people run over, trip, push or cause others to dive out of the way they apologize for their actions. It is the completely self-absorbed masses who after causing collisions, falls, accidents and injuries are unapologetic or even confrontational that I have issues with. These idiots are an utter menace to society and should have their right to walk among others revoked.

Road to Nowhere

Gas prices finally hit a point where my consumption pattern changed. After a grocery run on Friday morning I parked my Jeep Liberty in the garage and it hasn’t moved since. Luckily my option to occasionally work from home allows for this personal boycott of the local gas station but I know I cannot keep it up forever; there are very few places in the United States where is not a necessity and I live in one of those places. Eventually I’ll need to go into the office, head to the grocery store for milk, see a friend, take the dogs to the park, do any of a number of things that forces me to move my car from the garage and fill up the tank.

As a world traveler I have mixed feelings on our current gas price crisis. Honestly, we have been quite spoiled for years with our prices at the pump. Fuel was always more expensive overseas; I remember paying an exorbitant amount on a liter of gas in Spain circa 1998 while I was routinely paying about $.79 to $1.01 a gallon on my weekly drives from Delaware to either DC or NY. Whatever the reasons behind the price discrepancies, be it taxes, regulations, etc., US citizens became accustomed to gas prices being a non-issue in their everyday existences. No culture in the world has a love-affair with cars so intense as the United States. Compared to European and Asian countries, American history is still fairly young and undeveloped and the legends and folklore of this young nation revolves more around Henry Ford and automobiles then Knights and Kings in chariots and carriages. The French have the famous Champs Elysées lined with boutiques and restaurants and incredibly vehicle unfriendly. America’s Route 66, equally famous, but definitely not as pedestrian friendly as the grand roads of Europe.

The Federal-Aid Highway Act of 1956, championed by Dwight D. Eisenhower and also known as the National Interstate and Defense Highways Act of 1956, was originally launched as a defense effort giving the United States Armed Forces the Infrastructure needed to transport supplies and troops for national security from coast-to-coast. While the complex and expansive road system is a huge strength of the United States Military it’s uses for non-military driving and growth of vehicle usage leading to a culture of commutes and road trips is probably the real reason why the Highway Act was heavily lobbied for by the US car manufacturers.

Supporting the construction of roads from sea to shining sea was only one way the auto industry created a culture so enamored of and depended upon vehicle transportation. One example of the automotive industry directly limiting the transportation options of a city is in Minneapolis which was once a hot bed of rail and streetcar activity. Economic reasons did lead to the demise of the early public transportation lines in the Minneapolis Metropolitan area but the city is one of many that fell victim to what is referred to as the Great American Streetcar Scandal. GM, Standard Oil, Firestone, Mack Truck and Phillips Petroleum purchased over 80% of the trolley and streetcar companies nationwide and systematically switched the services over to buses, ripped out the rail lines and made way for more cars. GM’s the president, Alfred P. Sloan said, “We’ve got 90 percent of the market out there that we can…turn into automobile users. If we can eliminate the rail alternatives, we will create a new market for our cars.” In essence, car manufactures and oil companies created a transportation monopoly in the United States. Infrastructure design nationwide still revolves around the construction of roads to get from here to there and it has only been in the last decade that cities outside the largest even considered true mass-transit options.

Beyond the car transportation being a monopoly in and of itself there is a very real business monopoly in the world of oil and gas. The same companies who own the oil wells also own the refineries and the gas stations; the suppliers, manufacturers and distributors are all the same people. Any other industry employing these practices would find themselves disbanded. Many automotive executives hold stake in oil and gas companies making it less then desirable to develop practical vehicles that get good gas mileage. Price-fixing and gouging is all too easy when everyone stands to gain so much. If the same company who owned the wheat fields also owned the flour mills and the bakeries our morning bagels would cost a hell of a lot more then they do today.

Many can claim American’s are lazy and should be offsetting the high gas prices by getting some more exercise. Sounds like a great idea but there are many obstacles in front of a person looking to use personal manpower for transportation. Zoning laws often prevent the construction of mix-use buildings meaning there are few places where a good bakery, restaurant and corner store is conveniently located on the first floor of a condo complex. Newer communities and well-established suburbs have vast distances between their residential zones and commercials zones. It is not a short walk to get eggs and milk. If distances could be covered by foot or bike often the roads were just not designed for anything but vehicle traffic; the Death of the Sidewalk, cross-walks, or paths. The obsession with the American dream of a large house with land in a nice neighborhood pushes people further and further away from their places of employment; the longer the commute the less likely there is an option besides a car to get into the office. Even in active and healthy Minnetonka, home of some of the best paths, parks and recreational opportunities around, my neighborhood just got a sidewalk, in the main road last year and this sidewalk falls about a mile short of the nearest grocery store. During the summers I like to bike to work at least once a week but last year's local construction projects made it impossible to get to work without getting on a highway and bicycles are illegal on highways! I can get to the Dairy Queen using this new sidewalk which is interesting given our obesity issue in the United States.

Our economy and personal lives are too dependent on fuel to bear the sharp rise in prices over the course of the past 8 years. While we should be paying more then a buck a gallon for fueling our car it is the sudden and rapid inflation on gas that is hard to swallow. We live in a country where people and supplies cannot get from here to there without the use of gas. Even if everyone had the option like I do to park their car for four straight days, outside of the most major cities it is nearly impossible to get around without a car. Sure I drive what many would consider a gas-guzzler but we made a conscious decision to pay more for a house 3 years ago and factor in gas savings from a shorter commute into the home price and it was one of the smartest moves we ever made (negated quickly by buying a house at the peak of the housing market). I might be boycotting the pump for a few days but my twice a month fill-up is really nothing to complain about at any price.

A perfect storm of gas dependence was created by businesses, individuals and government officials who continue to profit from the policies and practices put in place long ago. So much effort is going into finding alternative fuels but there is such little focus on what caused our consumption issues in the first place and addressing those. What is truly sad is people who are forced to change their driving and gas consumption habits due to their economics cannot quit driving to work, or heading to the store for groceries but instead skip out on things like traveling to family for holidays, attending events both locally and regionally, or seeing friends. Politicians can tout family values all they want but the weak economy but ultimately high gas prices and our lack of other non-gas dependent transportation options will only keep people from enjoying valuable time with family and friends.

I came, I saw, I caucused

Usually by Super Tuesday the presidential candidates for each party are all but finalized and only the most committed supporters show up to cast their pre-election vote. The opportunity to participate and make a difference in this year’s race is not only rare but exciting. With such an important task in my little hands I made sure to spend time studying up on the candidates to ensure I made the most informed decision possible. Picking a candidate who could possibly lead our great nation one day is a serious matter and I was so disappointed to discover the caucus to be anything but. There is really only way to fully describe the caucus experience; what a cluster$u@&.

It was estimated that today’s elections would have unprecedented turnout and those predictions were correct. While it is good to see so many people participate in the political process there is one very unfortunate side effect of this enthusiasm; traffic. Unlike a primary where polls are open much of the day, the caucus takes place during a very small window of time and everyone interested in participating at our election site waited in traffic as far as the eyes could see for the opportunity to cast their ballot at Hopkins Junior High School. Finally my habit of arriving early paid off and we were actually able to get into the parking lot and find a spot. Anyone arriving closer to the official 7:00 pm start was forced to park in various streets and tow zones within walking distance of Hopkins High.

The only thing crazier then the parking lot was the school itself; the lobby filled to capacity with confused citizens, many with their small children in tow, deciphering from a poorly drawn map which room to report to based upon home address. It was difficult to determine where to go and we actually went to the wrong classroom before realizing our district was in the cafetorium (definition: cafeteria with a stage). After waiting in a fairly long line we were asked to sign our name and address on a register and take our place at a corner table of the cafetorium that represented our district. We could not figure out if it was standard operating procedure or the sheer chaos that kept the polling judge from checking our ids or at the very least our names against the list of registered voters. I strongly considered signing the register as Mickey Mouse of 123 Main Street and honestly no one would have ever noticed.

To prepare for the Minnesota Caucus we actually watched a video produced by the Al Franken for Senate group which explained the caucus process so we would not appear like amateurs. We sat down and after getting a piece of yellow scrap paper we wrote our choice for the democrats ticket from a list of names on a white board written in poor penmanship with a dry erase marker. Bill Richardson, no longer officially in the race, was represented on the white board. It was tempting to cast a ballot for him but in the end I could not justify throwing my vote away in such a close race. There was no grouping, subgrouping, walking, polling or speeches which are apparently just used for house and senate caucuses; just small sheets of scrap paper collected by volunteers and put into a popcorn tub from the local movie theatre. Potentially the most important vote many have ever cast and it might be illegibly smudged butter grease. Grammar school elections for hall monitor have more oversight then this did. Disgusted by the crowds, chaos, idiocy and illegitimacy of the process we left the party representatives and grass roots supporters awaiting the “real” caucus experience in the Senate race.

After leaving the school grounds we wondered if the Republican caucus was more organized, civilized and serious. We debated on driving to the Republican caucus site to check it out and maybe even cast another vote; they honestly would never know that we had already voted in on the Democratic ballot. Fighting our way out of the parking lot and down streets filled to capacity with illegally parked cars and miles of people still trying to vote we headed home. It was all too possible in our Republican heavy city that traffic would be ten times worse at Wayzata High School and neither one of us wanted to be charged with voting fraud in the off chance that anyone would check.

Maybe the caucus system works in smaller states or in less contentious elections not experiencing record turnout, but I was not a big fan of the concept of the caucus before today and I am even less in support of this method of choosing a candidate. There are so many things working against people participating in a caucus. There are no absentee ballots so people working the night shift, stuck at the office, out of town, busy with family or trapped in hours of traffic attempting to get to their polling place between 6:30 and 8:00 are out of luck. I do not know what the official process of changing a state from caucus to primary is but after tonight’s debacle it is time to consider a change.

Rock the Vote

Four score and 7 years ago women in the United States received the right to vote with the ratification of the Nineteenth Amendment to the Constitution. Susan B. Anthony, Elizabeth Cady Stanton and thousands of other women endured over 100 years of pain and protests to achieve the ultimate gift in a democracy; the right to choose the country’s leaders. Almost a century later it is painful to witness the number of people, especially women, who choose not to exercise their right as citizens to direct the path of our nation’s policies and procedures. People take for granted their ability to vote, often citing a laundry list of reasons for consciously conceding their voice in our political system; too busy, forgot to register, do not know who to vote for, do not understand the issues, there is no one worthwhile to vote for, do not care. While some of the excuses offer a degree of validity, it is difficult for me to understand how women could not vote knowing the reasons their right was denied for so long.

Anti-suffrage campaigns focused on their viewpoint of women being unsuited to vote for a wide variety of reasons including their belief that:

• Women’s intelligence is inferior to men’s and voting required a greater level of intelligence then women possessed.
• Fathers, husbands, sons and brothers would vote with women’s best interests in mind leaving women free to their duties as wives and mothers.
• The primary object of government is to protect persons and property which should be assumed by men as the natural protectors in nature.
• The election process would threaten the peace and harmony in the home; even the Roman Catholic Church opposed suffrage because its leaders believed that suffrage would emancipate women and cause the breakup of the family (which is one of the many reasons I am not catholic.)
• For physical, moral and social reasons women would be unable to make a sound decision in the event the nation needed to consider force.
• As voters women would need to serve on juries and would be unable to deal with the horrors spoken of in criminal trials.
• The strife, turmoil and contention in political activities are against the natural loving nature of women.
• The only way to maintain social and political order is to enforce gender-based roles and regulations.

If the above excuses used in denying women the right to vote don’t enrage you enough to go to the polls today then chew on this; the National Woman's Party first proposed the Equal Rights Amendment to eliminate discrimination on the basis of gender in 1923. It has never been ratified with lawmakers using many of the same excuses to stop its passage that were used to deny voting rights.

As for the problems people claim as their reason to skip Election Day let me present the solutions:

• If you are too busy to go to the ballots then get an absentee ballot.
• If you forgot to register then go and register for next year (and in Minnesota there is no excuse not to register- show up at the polls with a license and a utility bill and you can vote on the spot).
• If you do not understand your registration and election rules you can find that information here.
• If do not know who to vote for then visit or do not understand the issues then visit your local League of Women Voters.
• If there is no one worthwhile to vote for then do a write in vote; good leaders will only rise if we demand good candidates.
• If you do not care then don’t complain about the war, or your taxes, or the traffic, or anything else that would be addressed by competent leaders.

Only when we fully embrace our rights as citizens in a democracy and have 100% voter turnout will we start to see our politicians consider and align with the needs and rights of every person. All too often our policies reflect a small minority; those who show up at the polls. For all those who choose not to vote, let it be known that your actions, or lack thereof, are contributing to the ills of our government. Politicians naturally want to be re-elected and to them we are either a person who votes for them, a person who can vote for them or a person who does not vote; and the latter will never be taken seriously enough to have their voice heard.

Why Michael Vick is taking a plea deal...

News sources report that Michael Vick will take a plea deal to avoid a trial by jury. Maybe his lawyers shared the following political cartoon to communicate how unlikely his success would be before a jury.



Thanks for sharing this with me NeeNee

Conservatives want women barefoot and pregnant

Conservatives in Texas must be really proud of the latest statistic to come out of their state. Facts and figures show the Lone Star State has the highest rate of teenage births in the US despite the major fall in numbers reported throughout the rest of the country. One cannot help but connect this high honor bestowed on Texas to the conservative politics entrenched in their system through the works and words of their favorite son, President George W. Bush. Every study under the sun has proven that policies like abstinence only education that keep teenagers from receiving education on sex and its consequences do nothing to actually stop them from engaging in sexual activity. Rather then curtail sexual activity; these programs actually yield horrific results in combating the issues surrounding ill-informed sexuality activity like STDs and unwanted pregnancies. Yet with all the studies around what is necessary to keep teenagers safe and baby-free, George W. Bush and his conservative cronies continue to support policies that restrict the information teens receive on sex, spending millions of tax-payer dollars on programs that do not work, leading to the question; do conservatives actually want teenage girls to get pregnant?

Conservatives ride on a platform of being pro-life, but in actuality, are they really just pro-pregnancy? It is easy to draw this conclusion through policy analysis; the current administration and the Republican Party show a complete the lack of support for anything that gives a woman control of her reproduction. The battle against reproductive rights and freedom is fought from three major fronts:

• Elimination of sex education.
• Outlawing birth control.
• Banning women from ending unwanted pregnancies.

The Battle to Eliminate Sex Eduation: No matter which side of the political fence you are on, the facts are clear around the lack of success of these programs. Abstinence only education is proven to be ineffective in keeping teens from engaging in sexual activity. 60 percent of American teenagers have sex before age 18. Research also shows that 88 percent of those who took abstinence pledges have sex before marriage. The American Journal of Public Health reported that around 9 out of 10 times, better understanding and use of contraceptives is cited as the reason for the drop in pregnancy rate, not abstinence. Very few actually believe that these programs ensure that people wait until their wedding nights to have sex yet conservatives continue to stand behind these failing programs that promote ignorance over empowerment. Knowing these programs do not work, do conservatives see teenage pregnancy as a failure or is it actually being promoted?

Countries that educate and have programs for teenage girls to get birth control have the same levels of teenage sexual activity as the US, but are seeing much better results in lowering the incidents of both pregnancy and STDs. American girls are four times more likely then German girls to become pregnant and five times more likely to have HIV. American girls are also five times more likely then French girls to have a baby and 70 times more likely to have gonorrhea. So programs focusing on abstinence are not only gambling with the reproductive freedom of teenagers, but also their lives.

The Battle to Outlaw Birth Control: The Republican Party as a whole is very open about their stance against abortion, making their actions against birth control puzzling since knowledge of and the ability to attain birth control would prevent abortions. Republicans are very well aware that most of their constituents have used birth control yet they continue to cater to the extremists who equate birth control with abortion. Speaking of the “sanctity of life,” some proponents of outlawing birth control contend that every egg deserves to be a fertilized one that develops into a baby. This is the same argument given for arguments against embryonic stem cell research. It does not take much dissection of both these arguments to establish these groups value the life of an unborn child over the life of a fully developed, living, breathing woman.

The Battle to Ban Abortion: Also demonstrating the lack of value placed on women is the support of abortion legislation that bans the procedure even if it is to protect the life of the woman. These groups are not pro-lifers, they are anti-women baby extremists; willing to sacrifice the life of a woman, placing a higher value on her womb then her life.

These conservative groups want to keep women barefoot and pregnant through all means possible as demonstrated by their archaic views on sex education, contraception and abortion. With the number of Christians who support at the very least a women’s right to effective family planning through reliable birth control, it is difficult to accept the biblical reasons groups often cite as their reasons for limiting women's rights to quality family planning. There are reasons, other then those claimed to be based in religious faith, for denying women control over their bodies. In our capitalist society we must always remember that it is money, not values, that makes the political world go 'round'.

The major strides women have made in attaining gender equality over the past century are primarily attributed to the advances made in reproductive medicine, education and the widespread availability of birth control. Forbidding women from controlling the number of children they have forces them to take on lower paying jobs, sacrifice educational opportunities and become increasingly dependent on men for support. Women are not able to be equal with men unless they are able to plan or forego pregnancy, allowing them to compete in the workplace and yield the same economic independence of men. The groups attacking women’s reproductive options are the same as those who keep fighting against the Equal Rights Amendment. Coincidence? I think not.

From a purely socio-economic/political science standpoint, promoting unwanted pregnancies through all means possible actually helps the Republican Party well beyond their so called “family values” and “pro-life” platforms. One-third of teenage girls who have a child before 18 will ever earn their High School Diploma. Only 1.5% of these girls will earn a college degree by the time they are 30 years old. The children born of teenage parents are more likely to have health issues, educational issues and become teenage parents themselves. This creates a permanent underclass of females that perpetuates for generations through their children. Creating this second class citizenry through promoting unwanted pregnancies creates a very large population of individuals paying regressive payroll taxes, increasing the tax base while allowing for reductions in the higher brackets. So the next time you hear some republican talk about these policies being for the children, the children they are really talking about are their own who in turn become richer off those who were denied the economic freedom of education and higher payer jobs because they were not given the resources necessary to prevent an unwanted pregnancy.

The conservative agenda aims at keeping women from being successful and solidly cements the glass ceiling above the heads of girls through providing teenagers with abstinence only education, making birth control difficult to attain and limiting a woman’s ability to end unwanted pregnancies. These policies of promoting ignorance and denying women's control of their health are ethically imorral, risking the lives of teenagers and adult women to keep women from attaining the same freedoms and status of men.

Independent Thought

As we in the United States celebrate our independence and the birth of our nation, let us remember the words that began it all, appreciate the power of the message and ask ourselves why our leaders today are unable to capture the hearts and minds of our country through their writing and speeches. We as a nation are not developing leaders but followers who believe they know how to lead. We no longer teach our youth to think and debate through classes on rhetoric and oratory, but to memorize text books and only give answers that are predetermined as correct. Only a society that allows people to think and openly debate their thoughts can produce leaders like the man who wrote our Declaration of Independence.

...We hold these Truths to be self-evident, that all Men are created equal, that they are endowed by their Creator with certain unalienable Rights, that among these are Life, Liberty and the Pursuit of Happiness--That to secure these Rights, Governments are instituted among Men, deriving their just Powers from the Consent of the Governed, that whenever any Form of Government becomes destructive to these Ends, it is the Right of the People to alter or to abolish it, and to institute new Government, laying its foundation on such Principles and organizing its Powers in such Form, as to them shall seem most likely to effect their Safety and Happiness...
- - Thomas Jefferson

Random Thank You: Gas Light Inventor

Thank you to the inventor who added a “low-gas” light on the dashboard. This addition to the gas gauge has saved my life, or at least my car, on so many occasions. My inability to pay attention to the needle as is makes its way towards the big E would leave me frequently stranded, often in questionable weather or neighborhoods. The simple “bing” sound and well lit gas pump alerting drivers that the time to visit the gas station is the ultimate example of useful ingenuity. Your brilliance is beyond measure.

Today's Terror Level is "Peeved"

A forward from my friend Jooli, a fellow Mary Washington Political Science survivor, who appreciates a good joke about world governments just as much as I do.

Heightened Threat Levels In Europe
An increase in recent terrorist threats has raised security levels all across Great Britain from "Miffed" to "Peeved." Soon, though, security levels may be raised yet again to "Irritated," or even "A Bit Cross." The British have not been "A Bit Cross" since the blitz in 1940 when tea supplies all but ran out. If threats continue to rise, levels may go to "Tiresome" or even a "Bloody Nuisance." The last time the British
issued a "Bloody Nuisance" warning level was during the great fire of 1666.

In a related move, the French government announced yesterday that it has also raised its terror alert level, moving from "Run" to "Hide." The only two higher levels in France are "Surrender" and "Collaborate." This rise was precipitated by a recent fire that destroyed France's white flag factory, effectively paralyzing the country's military capability.

And it's not only the English and French who have heightened their respective levels of alert. Italy has increased its alert level from "Shout Loudly and Excitedly," to "Elaborate Military Posturing." Two more levels remain for the Italians: "Ineffective Combat Operations" and "Change Sides."

Not to be outdone, the Germans also increased their alert state from "Disdainful Arrogance" to "Dress in Uniform and Sing Marching Songs." They too, have two higher levels: "Invade a Neighbor" and "Lose."

Belgians, on the other hand, are all on holiday as usual, and the only threat they are worried about is NATO pulling out of Brussels.

Meanwhile, the Spanish are quite excited about the deployment of their new fleet of submarines. These beautifully designed subs have glass bottoms so the new Spanish navy can get a really good look at the old Spanish navy.

Discrimination against morning people

Yesterday, people all over the United States let out a huge groan when they woke up to find it pitch black outside. For most, rising at the same time on Sunday actually felt like morning with the rays of sunshine streaming through the window. Today, it was dark and dreary. Although your body and alarm clock said it was time to get ready for work, the sun was still dead asleep.

The recent changes to daylight savings time, starting 3 weeks earlier and ending 1 week later, have wreaked havoc on clocks all over the country. The shift of DST observance was referred to as a mini-Y2K, or Y2K7, disrupting computers, PDAs, cell phones, servers and even medical equipment. Essentially, any electronic device that was programmed to automatically correct its time to compensate for daylight savings time needs to be updated for the date change. Estimates on what this change cost companies in technology cost range from $350 million to $1 billion.

Businesses are impacted in ways other then the cost to upgrade technology. For many, calendaring programs just never catch up with the change. Productivity is affected by the number of meetings and appointments that are missed due to the time change. Not that most are complaining about missing a boring meeting for an hour, but it does cause management issues. This greatly effects the airline industry that has to account for the number of hours of sleep pilots and flight attendants are getting to adhere to FAA safety regulations. Flight cancellations and delays increase on the day clocks are changed.

And what about poor Arizona and Hawaii who stay on Standard Time 52 weeks a year? These states made the decision when Daylight Savings time was adopted to maintain Standard Time. This decision was based upon a number of factors, but primarily driven by the needs of nighttime dependant businesses. By extending daylight later, businesses like drive-in movies and planetariums were unable to operate efficiently. At least the one county in Indiana who refused to adopt Daylight Savings Time for decades changed their clocks this Sunday. This extension of Daylight Savings Time means that Standard Time is now only 18 weeks long. That would have been 34 weeks a year that one country had a different time then the rest of their neighbors. Can we really call 18 of 52 Standard?

Why the sudden change to take weeks away from Standard Time? There are some studies from scientists that increasing the number of hours of afternoon sunlight will decrease energy consumption in the United States. The US Government adopted the results of these studies into the Energy Bill of 2005. It is estimated that this change will equate to three one-hundredths of a percent decrease in annual electricity use. Did anyone in Washington D.C. ponder that the cost of this change could have been reinvested instead in energy solutions that could make a bigger impact?

This recent change is a government conspiracy against morning people. I am a proponent of Daylight Savings Time; however, disagree with the logic of this recent change. Switching our clocks does not give us additional daylight, it shifts the hours of useable daylight. The morning starts around 6:00 am. It should be dark prior to 6:00, to which Daylight Savings time is quite useful in the summer when Standard Time would have the sun rising prior to 5:00 am in many areas.

Changing the clocks this early in the season has actually decreased a morning person’s number of useable daylight hours. It is pitch black in the morning. It is dark until past 7, when many are on the roads getting to work and children are already lining up for the bus in the dark. For some, this change might be business as usual, but they obviously don’t have two dogs that demand a morning walk.

What do people say about you?

We all talk about people. This is not meant to be a derogatory statement but just sheer fact that everyday we talk about other people for a variety of reasons. After leaving dinner with friends the other night, my husband and I went on with our usual post evening out banter; so and so looking like they’ve lost weight, so and so getting a nice haircut and can you really believe so and so are having a baby. Suddenly, the idle chatter turned serious when my husband posed the question, “What do you think people say about us?” It had never really hit me that others might include me in their conversations like we chatted about others.

Thinking people are talking about you constantly displays a certain level of paranoia or narcissism, but thinking no one ever talks about you is naïve. Unless you live under a rock, chances are someone says something about you on any given day. It suddenly felt weird to think that there are conversations that occur daily where I am the topic and I don’t know anything about it. I felt very exposed and vulnerable as I racked my brain for every given thing people could say about me.

If you have friends, family, neighbors or co-workers then you are most certainly the topic of a conversation somewhere. Chances are there are total strangers in your life who have mentioned you to their friends and family, if not by name then by some other feature that makes you stand out. We have all had those conversations where we mention someone random who made an impression on us, either positively or negatively. I know in the past few days I have talked about a 6 foot 1 stunning 14 year old girl who I see getting coffee with her dad every morning, my mechanic who has changed car dealerships and a female in a pink snowsuit who we couldn’t figure out if she was a child or an adult. It is this randomness that we all are guilty of that has me wondering would talk about if I was the topic of their conversation.

Parents are always telling their children they shouldn’t care what people say about them, the whole "sticks and stones might break your bones but names will never hurt me" philosophy, but the reality is words do hurt and we do care what people say about us. It is weird to think that total strangers might mention you to others, your friends might gossip about you, your mother talks about you to everyone she meets and your name could become part of your co-workers dinner conversation with their spouse. We are each more “famous” then we think and somehow have effected the lives of others in such ways that we become conversational topics. Ultimately, we can’t stop people from talking about us, but we can impact how people talk about us.

Eulogy for Anna Nicole Smith

Today, we come to mourn the untimely death of another iconic blonde. This tragic event was one in the making from the day Anna Nicole Smith, aka Vickie Lynn Hogan Marshall, was launched onto the international stage as the face and body of Guess. As most of the fashion industry embraced the cocaine thinned models of the time, Anna Nicole’s figure and bombshell looks reflected days gone by, an era of pin-up girls ogled for their curves. She channeled the style and majesty of famous bombshells before her, and quickly became the object of both desire and jealously across the globe.

Beauty is a weak base for constructing long-term success and on the surface, there appeared to be little else for Anna Nicole to build a future on. She made the most of what she was given in life, and used her looks to find financial security in the arms of her husband J. Howard Marshall. Whether the relationship was for love or money, this marriage is what ultimately catapulted Anna Nicole from fashion icon to embattled celebrity. She was not the first person to marry a much-older man, but certainly became one of the more famous.

Her unconventional personality and court battle over the assets of her deceased husband kept Anna Nicole cemented in the tabloids. The media was able to focus on her limitations, honing in on her outrageous behavior and shocking weight gain. Anna Nicole Smith capitalized on America’s obsession with celebrity in a hit reality show that chronicled the chaos of her life. Her absurdity, foolishness and personal battles made for good television and exemplified the cliché that no publicity is bad publicity.

Everyone loves a happy ending, and for some time there was thought that Anna Nicole could actually enjoy one; securing a lucrative deal with TrimSpa due to her complete body re-transformation and Legal woes over her late husband’s fortune landed at the United State’s highest court and found her victorious.

Anna Nicole experienced life’s greatest joy with the birth of her daughter, Dannielynn Hope, last September. Unfortunately, this elation was met with the ultimate heartbreak a few days later when her son, Daniel, died of an overdose. Life again spiraled out of control for Anna Nicole, as she dealt with issues surrounding the paternity of her new daughter and scrutiny over the details over her son’s death.

The cruel irony of Anna Nicole’s celebrity is the very beauty and fame that brought her to our attention is ultimately what killed her. No matter what the coroner declares as her cause of death, Anna Nicole Smith died as a result of her battle finding love, security and understanding in a world that took advantage of her frailties. With death, may Anna Nicole find peace from her conflict and inner turmoil, solace in returning to life with her son and a legacy as a blonde bombshell.